Broken Promises
by Preppy Princess 5103
Summary: They had the perfect marriage, until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.
1. One

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Ok. I've wanted to write an angsty fic for a while, and right now angst totally fits my mood. Also, I was accused last time of being unfair to Harm and so I feel kinda guilty for writing this the way I am, but oh well. One thing though: I will not write anything resembling a soap opera. I've had a few friends/coworkers in the past few months that have faced infidelity in their marriages and why being there for them I've thought a lot about this and I want to write this in (what I think) is a somewhat realistic manner. That being said: **feedback** (both positive and CONSTRUCTIVE) is _encouraged_ and _appreciated_.

_**Part One**_

California was beautiful this time of year, but he was ready to go home and return to his wife. Harm sighed and erased the dry erase board, in preparation for his next class but could not tear his thoughts away from his wife. They had been married a little less than a year, and he had spent the past month here while she was home in Virginia. Whoever said 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' was full of crap. Once the board was clean, he picked up a marker and began writing down the lesson for his next group of eager young pilots, trying very carefully to keep his inner turmoil out of his mind long enough to legibly print some words and construct some diagrams.

He was beginning to feel that the physical distance was taking a toll on his marriage. They had only seen each other once in the month he had been gone and their phone calls were getting shorter and less intimate. He sighed, '_this assignment could not have come at a worse time_'. Before he left, they had begun to discuss starting a family. Mac had been elated when they threw away her birth control pills and when their doctors had told them that despite their ages, nothing was standing in the way of having children. The sparkle in her eyes had made him feel like all of her dreams were coming true and made him feel as if the universe was giving them both the chance to make up for their less than perfect childhoods. Being parents was extremely important to both of them, and a new adventure he was looking forward to embarking on if he was ever able to return home.

He glanced at his watch, capped the marker and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed the number to their Falls Church apartment and waited impatiently for her to answer.

"Hello?"

He frowned, knowing she couldn't see him. She sounded winded, but he could detect the smile in her voice. "Mac? Everything okay?"

"Harm!" She smiled and settled onto the sofa. "Everything is wonderful. I just finished jogging. Are you ok? You usually don't call me until you're home from work."

"I know. I was just thinking about you and needed to hear your voice."

"Well that's good to know. I miss you."

"I miss you too. So much, Sarah."

Her heart warmed and she twisted the cord around her finger. "Any idea when you'll get to come home?" She heard his sigh and frowned. "That soon, huh?"

"Captain Malloy is improving, but the doctors think at least another week before he's ready to come back to work."

"So there's a chance you won't be here for our anniversary?" The thought made her sick to her stomach and she blinked back the tears that threatened to overflow.

"Honey, I'll do whatever I can."

"I know you will. This just sucks. Sometimes I wish our jobs didn't dictate so much of our lives."

"I know, Sarah." He leaned back in the uncomfortable desk chair and sighed. "So how has work been?"

"It's been pretty good. The new lawyer is working out well."

"What new lawyer?"

"His name is Brent Tillman. He's a Lieutenant Commander, just transferred here from the JAG offices in Italy."

"Huh." He hated the twinge of insecurity he felt in his belly, and quickly scribbled the name down so he could look him up. "Gone up against him in court yet?"

"Nope. We're working a case together right now though. He's doing a good job. Nothing like Singer. He actually cares about the law and about justice, not just winning. I think you'll like him."

"I'm sure I will."

"Honey, I hate to cut this short, but I was actually about to get ready and meet some of our coworkers for dinner. Will you call me when you get home tonight?"

He sighed softly. "Of course. Love you."

"I love you too, honey. And I miss you so much."

"Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up his phone and buried his head in his hands. He doesn't understand why he is so affected by this. He and Mac had been apart before. Granted, not since they've been married and not for this long. But it shouldn't be bothering him this much. He loved and trusted his wife, but couldn't shake the feeling that the physical distance between them was causing emotional distance in their marriage. He lifted his had and moved the mouse so that the computer screen would wake up. He logged into a database and typed in the name of her co-counsel. Once his information and picture had loaded, he couldn't help but stifle a groan. This was not what he needed right now.

* * *

After his final class, he went to the VOQ, changed out of his uniform and drove off base for dinner. He went into this smoky dive he had become somewhat of a regular at. He took his normal seat at the bar and asked the bartender for a beer and a shrimp caesar salad. You wouldn't know it by the décor, but this place had the best food around. He waited for a few minutes for his food to come out, quietly nursing his drink. He wondered what Mac was doing right now. He knew he was supposed to call her when he got off work, but he didn't want to take the chance that she was still at dinner and have to listen to their friends laughing and talking in the background. He was nearly to the point where he wanted to tell his CO's that they could take this assignment and shove it, because damn it, he missed his wife.

Pushing his beer aside, he picked up the phone and waited to be connected to the familiar number.

"Colonel Rabb's phone."

"Harriet?"

"Sir, is everything okay?"

"I could be asking you the same question."

"Sorry Sir, everything is fine. Mac and Brent are playing pool, and when I saw your name on the caller ID, I thought I would answer so I could say 'hi'. We miss you, sir."

His stomach clenched and his hand tightened around the phone. "I miss all of you too, Harriet."

"Want me to get Mac?"

"Nah, I'll try calling her again later."

"Have a goodnight, Sir."

"You too, Harriet." He hung up the phone and it took all of the self control he possessed not to slam the thing against the bar top. Instead, he finished off his beer and signaled for another one.

Sometime between the second and third beers, he noticed a young woman sitting next to him, twirling the plastic stirrer around her glass. "You look like I feel." He said dejectedly.

She looked up and smiled sadly. "Likewise." She stilled her movements and then looked down at the amber liquid and melting ice. "Ever feel like your life just sucks?"

Harm nodded. "Generally, no. But the past few weeks, oh yeah."

"What's your story?"

He swiveled the stool to face her. "Well, I'm out here for work and I'm ready to go home. I miss my wife, I miss my friends and I just feel like my life is moving on without me and I'm getting left behind."

"Military?"

He nodded, surprised.

"I know how you feel. My husband is on a damned ship right now and I hate it. Whatever he's doing is 'top-secret' and I haven't heard from him in months. I don't know if he's alive or dead and I'm starting to hate the words "I'm sorry ma'am, but that's classified"."

Harm chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, it does suck. I've been on both sides, and let me tell ya, it's not any easier for him."

She nodded. "Logically I know that. But in my heart, I just miss him so much. We've been married for 5 years and we've spent more time apart than we have together."

"My wife and I have been together for almost a year, and now I'm not sure if I'll be done with this assignment in time for us to be together for our anniversary."

"That's rough." She said, sympathetically.

"Eh. Whatever. At least she has her friends to keep her company."

"I detect some bitterness. You don't like her friends?"

He paused before answering. "I love most of them. Most of them are our friends and are more like family than friends. It's the new guy I've never met who seems to be spending a lot of time with my wife I'm not too sure about."

"Has she given you any reason to doubt her?"

He sighed. "Honestly? Yeah. Our first real kiss was the night of her engagement party to another man."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I know she loves me. I have no doubt. But when I miss her this much and I'm this depressed, I can't help but wonder..." He trailed off and downed the last of his beer.

"I know." She signaled the bartender for another drink. When he sat a fresh glass in front of her, she looked at Harm and smiled. "And one for my friend here as well." She took a sip and then held out her hand. "I'm Lucy."

"Harm. Nice to meet you."

The strong liquid burned her throat going down, and once she recovered, she flashed him a smile and said "the pleasure is mine."

* * *

Harm's eyes slowly opened and shut again immediately. 'Too. Bright.' He took a deep breath and tried again. He felt like absolute crap. His mouth had had the sourest taste know to mankind and felt like someone has filled it with cotton balls. His throbbing head was aggravated by any movement and his body ached in ways he didn't even know was still possible anymore. He finally managed to open his eyes and was taken aback by the unfamiliar surroundings. The lacy blue curtains weren't what he was used to; nor was the pale yellow walls and light oak furniture. He sat straight up; trying to ignore the pain and figure out what the hell was going on. Closing his eyes in a quick, silent prayer, he looked to his left.

"Oh fuck." He muttered. The woman from last night was still asleep next to him. The blanket was pulled up to her breasts, so he wasn't one hundred percent sure, but she looked to be as naked as he was.

He dropped his throbbing head to his hands and began to massage his temples.

'_Oh God, what have I done_?'

**End Part One**

OK. None of you are allowed to hate me, okay? Just have faith and keep reading.


	2. Two

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/**Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.**

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Wow. The reviews for this were pretty much exactly what I was expecting. Some people think I'm the anti-Christ, and some people liked it and were intrigued to see where it was heading, and most fell someplace in the middle. So, let me say a few things (this is pretty long, but I feel its necessary):

1) Those of you who think Harm is perfection and Mac must be an evil tyrant for him to ever have an affair; you may not want to read any further. I adore both of these characters and I refuse to make either one a monster. Harm may appear to be kind of an ass at parts, and Mac might appear to be a bitch at parts, but that is not who these characters are and I will not turn one into someone horrible to make the other's actions more understandable. So, if this story isn't for you after reading that, but you're still a fan of my fluffy stories, let me know and I'll be more than happy to send you a message to let you know when I've posted a fluffy story.

2) Harm and Mac have issues. They may not be life and death issues, but they do have some pretty serious issues that will be fleshed out as this story continues, and I hope most of you will be along for the ride.

3) I mentioned in the AN for part one that this was kind of a continuation of Twenty Six Weekends, and it is. While it is absolutely unnecessary for you to have read that first, it might help to understand the timeline. Twenty Six Weekends was set immediately after Mac got back from the Guadalcanal, and this is set a little less than a year after that. So, my story and the course the show took have parted ways. The most serious implication this will have for the story is that Mac will not have the same medical problems she had in the show.

4) And this is what you will probably appreciate the most: stick with me and if by the end most of you guys all agree that I suck at writing angst and reading this was the most colossal waste of time of your life, **I will promise to never write angst again (at least for this fandom). I'll stick to sweetness and fluff where both characters are perfect and crazy in love with each other.** Their only flaw will be a little jealousy or problems with the kids. I promise.

Deal? Good. Now, that I spent more time on the AN than I did studying for my last exam, it's on to the drama.

Oh, btw. My beta is currently on an archaeological dig in Jerusalem that my University is sponsoring (don't even get me started on how jealous I am!!) and I'd love it if someone could take her place. When I work on my laptop, I end up with TONS of typos, so… Pretty please?

_**Part Two**_

Harm tried to lessen the throbbing long enough for him to figure out what the hell was going on. He closed his eyes and thought back to the night before. He remembered sitting at the bar after his class had ended. He remembered speaking to Harriet briefly on Mac's phone. He remembered talking far too much to the total stranger sleeping next to him. But after that, he drew a blank.

He stood and tried to keep from doubling over in pain. He spotted his clothing and underwear scattered throughout the room. He picked up the pieces and began to dress himself. Once he picked up his sock, he spotted a foil wrapper and exhaled sharply. While relieved that he at least remembered to use protection when he decided to ruin his life, it just confirmed what he already knew. He tossed the wrapper into the waste basket next to the nightstand and pulled on his shirt.

His movements must have disturbed the woman- Lucy- next to him and he turned his head slightly to look at her. When her eyes opened and she noticed him in her bed and then noticed her nakedness she shot up, clutching the sheet to her breasts.

"Oh my God."

He nodded slightly. "Yeah, my thoughts exactly."

"Did we?"

He nodded again. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure. The details are a little vague, but I found the condom wrapper under a sock and I woke up as naked as I'm sure you are."

Her brown eyes filled with tears. "Oh my God, what am I going to do? Oh my God…" She began to cry softly and he tentatively placed his hand on her arm. She looked up and he jerked his hand away. "This is not good. It's not going to be okay. My husband is going to be devastated!"

His blue eyes clouded over. "And my wife won't be?" He stood and began to pace. "I've got to go. I've got to get the hell out of this state and I have to get back to her."

Lucy had stopped crying and looked up at him. "Are you going to tell her?"

"Yeah, I have to. She is everything to me, despite how it may look right now. I have to tell her." He studied her. "Are you not going to tell your husband?"

She shook her head. "I don't know if I can. He's gone a lot; if I told him he'd never be able to trust me ever again. I just don't think I can."

"That's your decision. Do whatever you think is best for your marriage." He picked up a business card from a cab company off of the nightstand. He assumed it was how they had gotten to her place last night. "But, I have to get home and I have to tell my wife."

"Good luck, Harm."

He nodded and started dialing the number and went outside to wait.

Once outside, he dialed a more familiar number. Once he and Mac had returned from their honeymoon in Greece, they knew that one of them would have to be reassigned. They left the decision as to who would stay and who would go to the Admiral. Their only request was that they both have jobs that kept them in the area. Admiral Chegwidden had managed to secure him a position as an instructor at the Naval Academy. He didn't have the same close relationship with his new supervisor as he did with Chegwidden, but he hoped that his current boss understood that he needed to come home and they'd have to find someone else to teach the young pilots. He'd teach international politics to midshipmen for the rest of his life in order to be home with his wife.

* * *

The conversation went much better than he expected. There was surprise, of course, that the former hot shot pilot would rather teach politics than flying, but his superior agreed to send a replacement out and told Harm to be on the next flight home.

A few moments after wrapping up his phone conversation, the cab pulled up. Harm climbed in and told the driver where to take him and than looked back down at his phone. In his haste to call the cab company, as well as his boss, he had failed to notice the voicemail and missed call icons at the bottom of his phone. With a heavy heart, he accessed his mailbox and listened to his messages.

"_Hey honey. Harriet told me you called. Sorry I missed you. Anyways, call me when you get this. I love you."_

He erased the message and listened to the next one.

"_Harm, it's me. It's pretty late in California. I guess you had a rough day. Call me when you get this. I love you."_

He sighed and erased before playing the last one.

"_Honey, I'm officially worried. I got up to let Nina out and saw that I still hadn't heard from you. Please call me when you get this. I love you."_

Harm bent over, trying to get the feelings of nausea to pass. He couldn't believe he had screwed up his life so royally in one evening. Before long, the cab pulled into the parking lot of the bar and brought the car to a stop. Harm handed him some cash and walked over to his rental car. He unlocked the door and got in. Before starting the engine, he took a deep breath and returned his wife's calls.

"Sarah Rabb."

"Hey Honey."

"Harm!" The high decibel wreaked havoc on his throbbing head. "Where have you been? I called you several times last night."

He sighed. "I know. I'm so sorry. I went to this bar for dinner, had a few beers and pretty much passed right out."

"Is everything okay?" Mac was more than a little concerned. Her husband wasn't the biggest drinker.

"Yeah, it's fine. I just miss you." He looked at his watch and then looked out the window of the car. "Listen, I'm coming home today. Once I find out my flight information you think you could pick me up at the airport?"

She laughed, "no, of course not. I haven't seen my husband in almost a month. It's not like I'm anxious to see him or anything." The jovial tone left her voice and she was suddenly serious. "Of course I will. Call me as soon as you know something."

"I will. I better get off here so I can call and get a flight. I love you, Mac."

"I love you too. And I can't wait to see you."

"Bye." He quickly ended the call before he was overcome by emotion. Reaching into his wallet, he pulled out a credit card and dialed information and asked to be connected to the nearest airport.

* * *

Less than six hours later, the plane was touching down at Dulles. He stepped off the plane and scanned the busy terminal for his wife. On his second scanning of the crowd, he spotted gorgeous shoulder length black hair on a stunning body and took a deep breath. She turned at that moment and noticed him and all but sprinted over to him.

He dropped his carryon and pulled her to him tightly. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply. "God, I missed you." He pulled away from her and took her face in his palms and pulled her to him for a passionate kiss. They stood there, lost in their own world until oxygen became a necessity.

When they parted, she was breathless. "I missed you too. So much."

Harm leaned over and picked up his bag. "Come on, let's go home." He twined his fingers with hers with his free hand and let her lead him to the parking lot.

Once in the car, Mac started the car and turned her head to look at her husband. "Is everything okay?"

He reached over and stroked her cheek. "I'm just ready to be home."

"Okay." She put the car in reverse and tried to focus on getting them safely out of the insane parking lot instead of her melancholy husband. While driving, she occasionally glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was acting incredibly odd. They had been apart before, granted not for this long, at least not since they began dating, and he had never acted so strangely. Suddenly needing the physical connection, she reached over the console and ran her fingers lightly over his hand. He jumped like he'd been stung and than looked in her direction. He offered her a sheepish smile and linked their fingers together.

"Harm, what's going on?"

He shook his head. "We'll be home soon. Can we talk then? Please?"

* * *

Mac unlocked the door and strolled into the apartment ahead of him. She waited till he was in and the door was shut before she turned and demanded to know what was going on.

"Harm, I'm serious. What is going on? You're scaring me."

"I know, and I'm sorry." He took a seat on their sofa and patted the spot next to him. "Sit down, Mac. We need to talk."

Fear pooled in her belly as she did as he asked. "Harm…"

He picked up her hand and brought it to her lips. "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to tell anyone. I think even harder than telling mom about Sergei."

Her eyes darkened to a shade closer to black than the normal chocolate brown and she jerked her hand away. "You had an affair."

He swallowed and nodded. Moisture pooled in his eyes as he looked at her. "It was one time, Mac. Once. And I know how awful and cliché this sounds, but it meant nothing. She meant nothing."

Mac stood and began to pace around the room. "Nothing?" She laughed bitterly. "You'd throw our whole fucking marriage away for nothing?" She continued to pace the room before stopping abruptly to face him. "When?"

"Last night."

She turned so her back was to his and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Once she had regained some semblance of composure she turned back to him. "Last night," she repeated. "So, last night when I was calling you; worried about you; you were fucking someone else? Really nice, Rabb." She walked to the kitchen and pulled out a soda before returning to the living room. "So, who was she? Was she good? Better than me?" Before he could answer, she continued her rant. "Was she blonde? Big blue eyes? That was always your type."

He stood up and grabbed her arms. "Stop it, Mac. You are my type. You are the woman I love. It was a mistake, Mac. An awful mistake I will regret for the rest of my life."

She shrugged out of her grasp. "I want to hear about her."

"There is nothing to tell."

"You slept with someone else, Harm! There is obviously something to tell." Tears filled her eyes and this time she didn't try to hide them this time.

"Fine." This time he stood up and paced. "Her name is Lucy. She's married as well. I've been really down lately and she was at the same bar. We started talking, we were drinking and I don't remember any of it. All I know is I woke up at her place this morning and I wished I was dead. Mac, I never wanted this to happen and I would give anything in this world to take it back." He picked up her hand and tried to keep his heart from breaking at the hurt in her eyes. "I love you, Mac. And I am so sorry. I'll do anything to make this up to you. Anything. I don't care what it is, just please don't let this be the end."

She jerked her hand away again, and once again wiped her eyes. "I have to get out of here. I need air." She picked up her bag and keys and walked to the front door. She put her hand on the knob and turned to face him. "Harm, I don't know where this leaves us," she said, her voice trembling, "but please don't be here when I get back." She left the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

**End Part Two.**

Remember: Not allowed to hate me.


	3. Three

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed. It is definitely appreciated. I hope you all will continue to do so.

_**Part Three**_

The city was surprisingly quiet that evening. Mac drove through the deserted streets trying to organize her thoughts. She couldn't believe this was happening. She knew her marriage wasn't perfect; no marriage was perfect. But she thought that she and Harm were for keeps. She thought that out of all the men she had ever known, he would be the one to keep his promises. The pain she was feeling right now was more substantial than any she had ever known. No physical pain she had ever experienced was as intense as the emotional pain she felt right now. The worst part was she felt she had no one to turn to. Even before Harm was her significant other and her husband, he had been her best friend first. She had always gone to him with everything. And now that tie was severed. She didn't even feel like she could turn to her other friends- their friends. She knew most of them would 'side' with her as the betrayed party. But putting them in that position wasn't fair to them.

Frustrated, she wiped a fallen tear from her cheek and turned her car towards a familiar elementary school. After a five minute drive, she pulled her car into the lot and hesitantly got out, locking the doors behind her. She pulled open the main doors and quietly made her way down the hall. She hadn't been here for a while, and the uneasiness she felt at being here was still as prevalent as it had been when she went to her first meeting many, many years ago. She heard voices coming from both rooms and checked the signs before walking in.

Taking a seat toward the back of the room, she sat there quietly and listened as the others shared their heartaches and victories. After a while, there was a lull in the sharing. Taking a deep breath, she stood.

"My name is Sarah, and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Sarah." The group chorused.

She smiled slightly and nodded. "It's been a while since my last meeting. And an even longer time since my last drink. It's been almost five years since my last drink, and if I was ever going to turn to alcohol again, it would be tonight. I just out that my husband slept with someone else while he was out of town for work. He said it was a one time thing and that it meant nothing. I believe him, but it still hurts more than anything else ever has." She took a deep breath and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm not sure what is going on with me. I'm normally stronger than this. I have a very high stress job. I work with many powerful people. I don't let things affect me. But my marriage is falling apart and I am so lost and have no clue how to move forward. We have the same group of friends, and I don't want to pull them into the middle of our problems, and I just don't know what I'm going to do."

Mac stopped talking and looked around the room. The sympathetic faces made her feel uncomfortable all of a sudden. She picked up her purse, muttered a quick "thank you" and hurried from the room. Once outside, she collapsed on a bench and buried her face in her hands. She indulged herself for a moment before lifting her head and running her fingers through her hair and leaning back against the wall. She watched the room from across the hall empty out. People leaving and going back to their lives. Jealousy filled her; she felt as if she didn't have a life to return to. As the room continued to empty, she was shocked upon seeing a familiar figure.

"Booth."

Seely Booth looked in her direction at the sound of his name and his eyes widened. "Mac, hey." He walked towards her. "I didn't see you in the meeting."

She used her head to gesture behind her. "I was in that meeting." She smiled slightly at his obvious surprise. "I know, most people are pretty shocked when they find out."

"Is everything okay?"

Mac shook her head, "not really."

He sat next to her and squeezed his shoulder. "Feel like talking about it?"

She tilted her head and glanced at him, before returning her gaze to the wall. "Harm slept with someone else."

Booth's eyes widened and he opened and shut his mouth twice before words managed to come out. "Wow. I wasn't expecting that either. How do you know?"

"He told me." She sighed and leaned back against the wall. "He said it was a one time thing with a woman he met in a bar last night."

"Do you believe him?"

She nodded and twisted her wedding rings around her finger. "I do believe him."

Booth leaned back as well and glanced at her. "What are you going to do?"

Mac shrugged. "I don't have the slightest idea. The thought of my marriage being over makes me sick to my stomach, but how can I ever trust him again after this?"

He didn't respond, sensing that what she needed was to talk; she wasn't really looking for answers. Not from him anyways.

"I just don't understand how this could happen. I know things haven't been perfect, but I thought we were stronger than this. I never, ever pictured this happening to us."

* * *

Harm dropped his keys and wallet on the dresser in his hotel room and looked around. '_This is depressing_', he said to himself. He sat on the comfortable bed and fell backwards. How in the hell did his life get so screwed up, so quickly. How could he let this happen? Barely before he fell backward, he had a thought and popped back up. He plugged in his laptop and signed into his banks website. He checked his latest transactions and found the name of the bar in California, and then ran a quick search for a phone number. He took a deep breath and pulled his cell phone out of the pocket of his jeans and dialed the number. After two rings, a hurried voice answered.

"Yes, I'd like to speak to someone who was working last night please."

"Dude, I'm here every night. What can I help you with?"

He cleared his throat. "Sir, my name is Harm Rabb. I was there last night and was joined by a young woman. I had several beers that I recall and my bank statement says that I spent 90. I was just wondering if you could recollect what I exactly ordered."

"You're tall, dark hair, was driving a dark gray SUV."

"Yes, that was me." Harm waited a moment for the employee to speak and got nothing. "Sir?"

"Man, you had at least 4-5 beers and then you and the young woman you were sitting with went through an entire bottle of tequila."

He was momentarily speechless. He couldn't believe he had drank that much. At least that answered his question about why he could remember so little. He hadn't drank that much in a very long time. "Thanks for your time." He waited for the other man to acknowledge him and than hung up the phone. He buried his face in his hands massaged his temples. How did he end up here? How did a romance that started out so amazing end up with him sleeping with someone else. He tossed his phone aside and stood up. He had unzipped his bag and began hanging clothes when he heard his phone ring. Logically, he knew it wouldn't be his wife, but couldn't stop the hope that filled him before he glanced at the caller ID. Seeing his mothers name on the screen made his heart hurt all over again. His mother had experienced a cheating husband and the thought of telling her was almost as terrifying as telling Mac had been. Granted the situation was much different, but he saw the pain his father's infidelity and his half brother's existence had caused her. Reluctantly he picked up the phone.

"Hey mom."

"Harm, darling!" He winced at the smile in her voice. "I've been calling the apartment and I tried calling Mac's cell but I got no answer to either."

"Is everything ok?" He didn't need anything else to worry about at the moment.

"Of course, honey. I just needed to speak to my beautiful daughter-in-law about plans for the holidays."

Harm sighed and sat on the bed. "Mom, sit down please."

"What's going on, sweetheart?"

"Making plans for Thanksgiving might be a little premature. Mac and I are having some marital difficulties."

"What happened?" Trish sat on the edge of the sofa and gripped the phone so tight it hurt her fingers. "What kind of marital problems, Harm?"

"I slept with someone else." The other end of the line was completely silent. He waited for as long as he could before asking if she was still there.

"How could you do this?"

"I don't know, Mom. I was drunk and it just happened. I know that is no excuse, but it's all I have right now."

"I'm so disappointed in you, Harmon." She said, her voice trembling. "I can't talk to you right now."

He heard some slight commotion going on and heard Frank pick up the extension.

"Harm, son, what's going on?"

"I'm guessing you heard from Mom."

"Yeah, I did. How are you?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm devastated. I can't believe I did this and honestly, I don't know what the hell happened that lead me to this point. Mac and I have had fights before, we've been apart before because of work, but regardless of anything going on, I never would have cheated on her. Ever."

"How is Mac doing?"

"I have no idea." Harm hated the fact that he had no clue how his wife was doing. "I told her tonight when I got home from California. She was understandably upset. She left and asked me not to be home when she got back."

"Where are you staying in the meantime?"

"At a Marriott in Annapolis. I figured if I couldn't be in my home, I could at least be nearer to work."

"With gas prices what they are right now that's a smart move." Frank flipped through his rolodex and pulled out a card. "Harm, I can't say I know what you're going through but don't give up on her or your marriage. Give her the space she needs right now, but fight for your marriage. Can I offer a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"Ask her to go see a marriage counselor with you. You're not the cheating type, Harm. We all know that. There has to be something going on underneath the surface for you to lose complete control and let this happen. So, give her the space she needs right now, but once the pain isn't so raw, ask her to go talk to someone with you."

"Thanks for the advice Frank. Please tell mom I love her."

Frank sighed softly. "I will, Harm. She's disappointed, but she loves you."

"Bye."

"Bye Harm."

**End Part 3**

I'm not crazy about the lack of Harm/Mac interaction in this part, but I felt they needed to explore what was going on in their heads.

Just for those of you who haven't read Twenty Six Weekends, (and don't watch "Bones") Seely Booth is a character from the show "Bones". Harm and Mac met the gang from that show during one of their activities in that story and Mac developed a friendship with some of the characters. Since his character really does have a gambling problem, I felt like he would be a good outlet for her.


	4. Four

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed. It is definitely appreciated. I hope you all will continue to do so. And thanks to my new beta, Amber. I appreciate it so much!

_**Part Four**_

Mac tugged down her jacket and stepped out of the elevator. Everything at JAG was just as it was when she had left the day before, and yet everything seemed completely different. She smiled politely at a young officer and hurriedly made her way to her office. Once inside she shut the door behind her, sat her briefcase on the floor next to her desk and collapsed in her chair. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes momentarily before she forced herself to pull it together and straightened herself.

With her head facing forward, her eyes fell on a framed photograph that sat at the corner of her desk. The admiral and Harriet had joined forces and had thrown them a party once they returned from their trip to Greece. In the picture, they both looked tanned and gorgeous. She was cutting the beautiful cake and Harm had one arm wrapped around her waist and his lips pressed to her shoulder. She reached out for the photograph and shoved it in a drawer. Right now, the last thing she needed to be reminded of was how happy they once were. If she were going to make it through this day, she would have to pull it together.

She stood again and made her way to the break room. Coffee was the first requirement to make it through the day. When she got to the door, she noticed Lt. Commander Tillman in the break room and groaned. He seemed very nice when she first met him. He seemed to be a good, ethical lawyer. She just now didn't think that he practiced the same ethics in his personal life. The other night when the staff had gone out, they played a game of pool and while he didn't flat out say anything or show any inappropriate displays towards her, she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable around him. Glancing longingly at the coffee, she sighed and went inside.

He noticed her the second she walked in. "Good morning Colonel."

"Morning Commander." She grabbed her coffee cup and filled it to the brim. She could feel his eyes on her and grabbed a bagel before hurrying out of the room.

* * *

Loren Singer saw Mac scurry out of the break room and went to see what had caused a reaction in the normally level headed Marine Colonel. Her eyes widened when she noticed the only other person in the room was the newest incredibly handsome, sandy haired, brown eyed member of their team. "Good morning Commander."

"Morning Lt. Singer." He split open a bagel and smeared some cream cheese over the top. He noticed the way she was studying him and raised his eyebrows. "Is there something I can help you with?"

She shook her head. "Not really. Just curious about what's going on between you and Colonel Rabb."

"Lieutenant, the Colonel is married, as well as my superior. There is nothing going on between the two of us."

"You think people don't notice the way you look at her?" She had no clue if other people actually noticed, but she did.

"Dismissed, Lieutenant."

Singer smirked, knowing she had affected him and walked out of the room.

* * *

The rest of the day was uneventful, as was the next day. Not wanting to talk about her problems with her marriage, she hid in her office when she wasn't required to be somewhere else. But on Friday, when she was so close to freedom she could almost taste it, Harriet was fed up with her evasiveness and cornered her in her office.

"Colonel- Mac. I know something is going on. You can deny it all you want, and you can try and avoid me all you want, but neither of us are leaving this office until you tell me what's going on."

Mac sighed and leaned back in her chair. "You realize that you're essentially holding a senior officer hostage."

"I don't care. You're my best friend and I know something is going on." She sat down in the chair across from her desk. "And besides, the Admiral is worried about you too. So go on. Tell me."

Knowing she was caught, she straightened her posture and fiddled with the diamonds and platinum on her finger. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise me one thing."

Harriet nodded. "Of course."

"What I'm going to tell you will probably affect your friendship with Harm. I don't want it to, but I'm logical and I know it will. Please just remember he's your friend, separate from our marriage. He's the godfather to your children, so don't shut him out, please."

Harriet's eyes were wide. "Mac, what is going on?"

"Harm and I have separated, as of right now anyways. He had an affair when he was in California and I asked him to leave the apartment."

Shock was the understatement of the century. She had known Harm as long as she made Mac, and she couldn't believe it. "Are you sure?" She asked softly.

Mac nodded. "Yes. He came home early from Miramar and told me that evening. He said it was a one time thing and that he was drunk and it didn't mean anything. But I needed some time to process, so I went out for air and asked him to not be there when I got back."

"Have you seen him since?"

She shook her head. "No. That was Monday night. I haven't seen him or heard from him since."

Harried nodded, her heart breaking for her friend- both of her friends. "So what are you going to do? Are you going to get a divorce, or do you think you'll be able to forgive him and work through this?"

Moisture pooled in her eyes. "I don't know what we're going to do. I can't picture my marriage being over, but how will I ever be able to trust him again after this?"

* * *

Loren Singer smirked as she walked away from Mac's door. No one could ever say she didn't have excellent timing. Their marriage was on the rocks. She couldn't believe it. As she walked back to her office, she noticed Brent at the fax machine.

"So I know something you don't know."

He glanced at her and sighed. "You've been here at JAG headquarters for a lot longer than I have. I'm sure you know several things I don't know."

"This pertains to a certain Marine Colonel."

Brent whipped around and his eyes narrowed. "Lt. Singer, I've told you there is nothing between us."

"There could be."

He rolled his eyes. "She's married and my superior officer. There is nothing there."

Loren studied him and smirked. "What if I told you that her marriage was on the rocks and that she had herself participated in an affair with a superior officer a long time ago?"

"How do you know all of this?" He asked, his curiosity having been peaked.

"I told you. I know lots of things you don't know."

* * *

Mac had never in her life been so relieved to be home. Her head was throbbing after her difficult conversation with Harriet, and she just wanted to curl up and hide from the rest of the world. She discarded her uniform almost the moment her front door was closed. She changed into navy running shorts and searched for a clean t-shirt to put on. After perusing her clothes, her eyes wandered to Harm's bureau. She opened a drawer and pulled out a familiar t-shirt, bringing the soft, worn material to her face and burying her nose in the clean smelling cotton. She shook out the t-shirt and slipped it on, feeling comforted by the familiar garment. After pulling her hair into a pony tail, she grabbed a blanket off of the foot of her bed and headed into the living room. After about five minutes of flipping through the countless channels on the TV, she tossed her blanket to the side and reached for her laptop. Once her password was entered and she was patiently waiting as she was logged in, the silence was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. With a sigh she got up and made her way to the door.

"Commander Tillman."

He flashed a big smile. "Colonel Rabb, I was wondering if you had a few moments."

She sighed and glanced over her shoulder at the clock on the digital cable box. "It's pretty late, Commander. Can this not wait till Monday?"

Flustered she opened his mouth, but words wouldn't come out. "Well, technically it could. But I have a free weekend and was hoping to get caught up on some cases. I won't take up much of your time."

Relenting, Mac opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in. "I'll give you a few minutes." Once the door was shut, she noticed his eyes on her legs. "What did you have a question about, Commander?" she asked, snapping him out of his reverie.

"Oh. Of course." He followed her to the sofa and opened up his briefcase. He pulled out a file and handed it to her, studying her face as she read over the finer details. While she read, his eyes roamed over her body. The baggy t-shirt she wore, which was obviously her husband's as it proclaimed her as 'Property of the United States Navy', obscured her figure slightly, but she was still a beautiful woman. He almost began to salivate when she crossed her legs. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the toned, tanned skin. He reached out under the pretense of gesturing to something in the file and brushed his hand against her kneecap.

She jerked away as if she had been burned and stood, thrusting the file at him. "I can't believe I fell for that. Leave. Now."

"Mac, I know about your marriage. I'm here if you need someone to talk to."

Her eyes darkened and she took a step away from him. "My marriage is none of your business. And you don't want to talk. You're hoping I'm so distraught and pissed off at Harm that I'll fall into bed with you." She picked up his briefcase and handed it to him. "Get out before I have you forcibly removed."

Intimidated by the expression on her face, he took his briefcase from her and started for the door. He turned to look at her and smiled. "If you change your mind let me know." He opened the door and walked out.

She groaned and walked to the door, locking it behind him. 'That son of a bitch.' She had barely made it back to the couch when she heard a knock on the door, louder this time. She went back to the door and jerked it open. "What!" Harm's eyes widened and she sucked in her breath. "Sorry. I thought you were someone else. What do you want?"

"I came to get a few of my things. Is that okay?"

Mac nodded and stepped aside, letting him in. He shut the door behind him, and studied her for a minute. She looked tired, but beautiful. He also couldn't help but feel slightly comforted that she was wearing his favorite shirt. He stopped staring and headed to the bedroom. She stood there in the entrance before following him to the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and watched as he put items in a duffel bag. The silence was nearly stifling. Both had so much they wanted and needed to say, but couldn't put their thoughts into words. After several minutes of silence, Harm turned from the closet and looked at her. "How are you?"

Her eyes began to water and she avoided looking at him. "I'm doing okay." After a moment she looked up, meeting his gaze. "I'm getting by. How are you?"

He shrugged. "I've been better. I'm… I'm getting by."

Mac nodded and they stared at each other in silence for a few moments.

"I miss you so much." He said simply.

The tears began to fall and she quickly wiped them away. "I miss you too." She watched as he timidly sat next to her on the bed. "This is the hardest thing I've ever been through." She said softly. "I don't even know what to do or how to act. I feel so empty inside."

He nodded. "I hate myself for doing this to you. And even if you could forgive me, I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I promised you my love and devotion and fidelity and I broke that promise. I never stopped loving you and I never will, but fidelity was a part of our wedding vows and I broke it." He looked at her and smiled softly. She still wore her wedding rings. That was at least something. "What are we going to do?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, Harm." She twisted her rings around her finger, a movement that had become a nervous habit for her the past few days. "I don't know where we should go, or what we should do. Or how we could move forward."

"Do you want our marriage to be over?"

Mac shrugged. "I don't know." She stood up and walked to the other side of the room. "I don't know if I can forgive you, but I'm not sure yet if I want to give up on us."

Harm stood and walked over to her. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Just give me some more time; more space."

He nodded. "I'll give you whatever you want. I know you might not believe this right now, but I love you so much, Sarah. So much. And I know we have problems, but I believe we can work through them. Please think about that." He watched her as she nodded. He smiled and picked up his duffel bag and left the apartment.

**_End Part Four_**

Feedback, as always, is very much appreciated.


	5. Five

**

* * *

**

**Title:** Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed. It is definitely appreciated. I hope you all will continue to do so. Feedback is seriously the best thing ever. Immediately following my DVR and the lobster queso at Firebirds :)

_**Part Five**_

"Colonel Rabb," Petty Officer Tiner said, "the Admiral would like to see you if you have a moment."

She nodded. "Thank you, Tiner. I'll be right there." She watched as he walked away and then closed the file she had been reading. With a sigh, she stood and straightened her uniform and made her way to his office. Tiner waved her in and she shut the door behind her.

"Have a seat, Mac." AJ said, making it clear he had a more personal agenda to discuss. That was one thing she loved about working under his command. He was able to compartmentalize like no one she had ever known. He cared deeply for his staff, and let that concern and affection show whenever he could. She sat in the seat across from his desk and watched as he moved around and too the seat next to her.

"Mac, this is none of my business, but there is some scuttlebutt going around…"

She nodded and sighed. "Yes sir."

"How much of it is true, if you don't mind my asking."

"Almost none of it." She rolled her eyes and leaned back in the chair. "Harm is staying at a hotel for the time being, he did cheat on me while he was in California. But, as far as I know, the other woman is not pregnant. He is not moving to California to be with her. She is not moving here. Her name is not Renee Peterson and lastly I am not having an affair with Commander Tillman."

AJ smiled and leaned back in his own chair. "Well, most of that is very good to know. The part that is true is very upsetting."

Mac nodded. "Believe me, I know."

"Have you two decided what you're going to do?"

She shook her head. "No, not yet. I'm still trying to decide if I want to try and put our marriage back together or if this is just too much for us to overcome."

"Well," he said softly, "if anyone can overcome this it is the two of you." AJ stood up and walked back over to his normal side of the desk. "You two have such a strong connection and you've been through so much. I may be a little biased since I'm close to the both of you, but I really hope you can work it out."

Not knowing how to respond to that, she simply nodded.

Sensing her discomfort, AJ moved into the business session of this meeting. "I need to talk to you about something else, Mac. And I know this could not come at the worst possible time, but I'd like to talk to you about an assignment I think you would excel at."

Intrigued, she nodded and straightened her posture a bit.

"Throughout the past several months, you've served on the judiciary quite a bit. And you have done very well at it. You've made a positive impact on Admiral Morris and he was incredibly impressed with your performance on the bench." He watched and smiled as she nodded again, and a slight blush spread through her cheeks. She had the hardest time accepting compliments. "Captain Truman is resigning her commission. She and her husband have been trying to have a family for a while and she finally conceived, so she's leaving to be a full time mother. Admiral Morris would like for you to take her place."

Her eyes widened and she opened and shut her mouth a few times before finally managing words. "They've been trying for a while?" She watched as he nodded. "That's why you sent Harm to Annapolis instead of me, isn't it."

"Yes, it is." AJ stood and walked around his office. "Mac, we knew Truman and her husband would become parents one way or another soon. She told Morris this shortly before your marriage. Once you and Harm made it official, I knew it would be the perfect solution. We also knew that you would be the much better choice to take her spot on the bench. But in order for you to get experience as a judge, I needed to keep you here at headquarters."

"Do I have a choice in this matter?"

He nodded. "Of course." He watched as she stood and began pacing. "I know you're hurt right now, Mac. But this is a good opportunity for the both of you."

"Of course, sir." She stood and smoothed her uniform again. "I'd be honored to become a part of the judiciary, sir."

"Are you sure, Mac?"

She nodded. "I am. I did enjoy my time there and this works out well for everyone."

"You don't have to be so strong." He said softly.

"Yes I do." She turned away from him and sighed softly. After a moment, she regained her composure and turned back to him. "Is there anything else?"

He shook his head and she nodded and exited the office.

* * *

"Commander Rabb." He said automatically. He cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder and continued scrolling down the website he was browsing. Once his former CO announced himself, he straightened and abandoned the computer. "Yes sir."

"Harm, I'm going to get right to the point." AJ said, "Things have changed here at JAG. I'd like to ask you to come back."

"What do you mean I can come back? Did the UCMJ suddenly change their position on married officers being able to serve in the same chain of command?" His heart was in his throat. He had no clue what was going on, but wasn't crazy of any of the thoughts running though his head. He hoped Mac hadn't decided to file for divorce and alert the Admiral before him. Or did something insane such as resign her commission.

"If you were in contact with your wife you'd know the details right now." AJ couldn't help but retort. He loved Harm like a son, but was madder than hell at his current actions.

"Sir-"

He shook his head, even though he knew Harm couldn't see him. "This isn't about that, harm. I'm disappointed, but this is between you and Mac. This is about your future. Mac has taken a position on the judiciary, putting her in Admiral Morris' command."

Temporarily stunned, he sat their quietly for a moment. "Mac agreed to this?"

"Yes, she did. She knows it's a smart move for both of your careers. Now, I've already talked to your superiors at Annapolis. If you want to come back, I'd like you to come in tomorrow, 0900, and get your paperwork taken care of."

"Of course, sir, I'll see you tomorrow morning." He started to hang up when the Admiral stopped him.

"Harm, I don't care what you have to do, or how you have to do it. But fix things with your wife. Make this right." He hung up the phone, and dropped his head into his hands and massaged his temples. 'This is going to be interesting.'

* * *

Harm sat there for a moment, not believing what had just happened. Hesitantly, he picked up the phone and dialed her office. The line rang three times and he almost hung up before his call was finally answered.

"Colonel Rabb."

'_She's still wearing her rings and still using her married name…_' He held onto a little more hope. "Hey, it's me."

"Hi." Her voice was soft and lacked her normal enthusiasm.

"So I heard from the Admiral today." He started.

"That was quick. He just spoke to me a little while ago." She closed a file and added it to one of the 6 growing piles on her desk- one for each lawyer she was passing her cases on to. "So you're coming back, I take it."

"Yeah, as long as it's okay with you."

"It's your career, Harm, not mine."

"No, but this does affect you."

She sighed deeply and leaned back in her chair. "Harm, the Admiral has been grooming you to take over for him one day. You know that, I know it; hell, half of the NAVY knows that. It makes sense. I'm pissed as hell but I'm not petty enough where I'm going to ruin your career because you screwed someone else."

The pain and anger in her voice caused knots to form in his stomach. "Have you made any decisions about us?"

"No. I don't know what to do. Or what I even want to do. I can't think about anything but."

He drummed his fingers against the table and thought back to what Frank had told him. "Can I ask you to do something with me?"

She sighed once again. "You can ask."

"I'd like for us to see a marriage counselor." He heard a sound on the other end and quickly began talking. "Hear me out, Mac. I know neither of us are the type to talk about our feelings with a complete stranger, but it could help."

"Harm-"

"Mac, please. You said you don't know what to do, or even what you want to do. This could help."

Once again, she began twisting the diamonds around her finger and glanced at the picture of the two of them. She wanted her marriage to work. She wanted to have what they had before this had happened. "Fine. I'll see someone with you. But I need you to do something for me." The rumors floating around HQ had been gnawing at her and she needed to know much more than she currently did.

"Anything, Sarah."

"I need you to get tested. And I need you to find out if _she_," the word like venom on her tongue, "is pregnant."

The idea of Lucy being pregnant or him having contracted anything from that mistake of a night made his feel sick. "I'll call and schedule an appointment to get the tests done. And I'll try and find out about the pregnancy."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. I'd prefer to see a civilian counselor. I'll call and set up an appointment for us."

Harm nodded, relieved she wanted to see a civilian. The less drama in their records the better. "That sounds fine. I'll see you tomorrow at JAG."

"Goodbye Harm." She hung up the phone and leaned back in her chair. '_This will be fun_.'

**End Part Five**

Now a note: It's pretty much become the norm for fanfic authors to have Mac become a member of the judiciary to make things easier for her and Harm. I'm going along with that even though I'm not sure how possible it would be in real life for that to happen.


	6. Six

Title: Broken Promises

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed. It is definitely appreciated. I hope you all will continue to do so. Feedback is seriously the best thing ever.

_**Part Six**_

Harm pulled into the parking lot, turned off the car, but couldn't bring himself to get out of the Lexus. As excited as he was to be back at JAG, he wasn't delusional enough to believe things would be the same as they were before.

Not only had be been gone for almost a year, but now Mac was now gone and to make matters worse, everyone knew about their marital problems. Deciding to suck it up and get the day moving forward, he finally got out of his car, grabbed his briefcase and his cover and made his way inside. His colleague's reactions were as mixed as he thought they would be. The women either tossed him flirtatious glances or sent glares in his direction. The men were a little more discreet. Bud offered him a sympathetic smile and walked away from Harriet's side to greet him properly.

"How are you, sir?"

Harm smiled and shrugged. "I'm doing okay, Bud. Is the Admiral in? I have to figure out where he's putting me."

"He's not here right now, sir. But, he did ask me to tell you that you're going to take the Colonel's office."

Both men glanced at Mac's office, curious as to how this was going to work out.

"Well, I'm going to get settled, Bud." Harm said. Now that his attention had been directed to his wife's office, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. "I'll see you later."

"Good luck, sir." Bud said, genuinely concerned for his friend and mentor. He knew Harm had made a massive mistake, but he also knew how much he loved Mac. He just hoped his two friends could work this out.

* * *

Harm walked away and made it to her- his office in a few strides. He tapped gently on the door and waited for her curt 'enter' before opening the door.

Mac glanced up at the intruder and felt her stomach flip when her eyes fell on her husband. "Hey."

"Hi." He offered her a small smile and entered completely, shutting the door behind him. "I heard the Admiral is putting me in here."

She nodded. "You heard correctly. I just have a few things left to pack up and I'll be out of your way."

"Don't rush. I miss you. I miss seeing you. Even if you're just packing boxes." He perched himself on the edge of the desk and studied her.

Mac glanced at him and tried to ignore her now fluttering stomach. "Did you find out any of the things I asked you to?"

Harm nodded and opened his briefcase, pulling out a sheet of paper. "Test results for everything except for the HIV test. They drew the blood for the test, but said it could take up to two weeks." He watched her read over the paper, trying her best to mask the emotions he knew was going through her. "Everything else was negative."

She looked up and nodded softly. "I'm glad to hear that. What about the other thing?"

He sighed. Calling Lucy had been difficult. Her husband had surprised her and was home when he had called, so of course she wasn't able to talk at the moment. He sat on pins and needles for two hours waiting for her to return his call. When she did, it had taken him fifteen minutes to assure her that he wasn't going to try and cause problems with her marriage. When he finally got to ask her about the possibility of a pregnancy, she assured him that he didn't have to worry about that. She was on the pill, they had used protection and if the horrendous cramps she was suffering were any indication, pregnancy was definitely not a possibility. He had thanked her and wished her a nice life before hanging up the phone.

Harm focused on his wife and smiled reassuringly. "I was able to find her number and I called her. She said that her being pregnant was improbable."

"Improbable?" Mac repeated. "Are you kidding me?" She couldn't believe the little whore. Improbable. She supposed it was a good thing she didn't know this woman personally, otherwise she'd end up facing charges for, well, for something.

He shook his head. "She said- God, Mac. I hate talking about this with you."

"Well, you shouldn't have fucked her. Then we wouldn't have to discuss this."

His wife's uncharacteristic vulgarity made him wince. "I know. And I'm willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll let me." He took a chance and placed his hand at the nape of her neck. He gave it a gentle squeeze, which had soothed her many times in the past. "She said that pregnancy was improbable. She's on the pill, we used protection," he said softly; embarrassed, "and she implied that she was about to start her period any day now."

She couldn't stop the tears that welled in her eyes at the mention of the use of protection. "God, I hate this. I hate this so much."

His hand moved from her neck down to the small of her back. "I'm so sorry, baby. So damned sorry." He eyed her and couldn't resist pulling her close to him. "I just need to hold you for a minute," he pleaded. "Just one minute. Please."

The tears fell and she allowed herself to be pulled close. He wrapped his arms around her and inhaled the scent of her hair. She allowed herself to be held for a moment before pulling back. "No. I'm not doing this."

"I know. I'm sorry." He reluctantly removed his hand from his wife. "Did you set us up an appointment with a counselor?"

Mac nodded. "Yeah." She pulled a post it note off of her computer and handed it to him. "Tomorrow at 4:00. Will that work for you?"

"Yes."

"You haven't even looked at your schedule yet."

He shook his head. "I don't care. All that matters to me is putting our marriage back together."

* * *

Later that afternoon Mac had emptied most of her things out of her old office and had moved upstairs. Harm had closed the blinds, shut his door and leaned back in his chair. This was where he was supposed to be. Now if only Mac was still in an office next to his. He began to read through the stack of files Mac had left for him and looked up when he heard his door open.

"Colonel Rabb- Oh." The intruder eyed Harm and stepped back. "You're not the Colonel."

Harm recognized the younger officer from his internet search the first night Mac had mentioned him. "No, Lieutenant Tillman, I'm not." Tillman looked nervous, which made Harm happy. "Come in and shut the door behind you."

Doing as he was told, he came into the office and quietly shut the door. "Yes sir?"

He moved from behind the desk so that he was towering over Brent. "Tillman, I'm going to tell you this one time and one time only: stay away from my wife."

"Excuse me, sir?"

Harm narrowed his eyes and moved closer. "I know things. I hear things. I heard from a friend who lives down the hall from _my_ apartment that a young, sandy haired Naval officer paid my wife a visit the other night. Turns out, it was the same night I saw her. She was not happy when she opened the door. Her previous visitor had pissed her off. I've also heard some rumors around here that make me very, very unhappy. So I'm going to tell you this one time and one time only. Stay away from my wife. You don't want to try me on this, Tillman."

His nerves were on edge and took a step back; one step closer to the door and freedom. "Sir, there is nothing going on between the Colonel and myself."

Harm smirked. "Oh I know that. And I know it isn't from a lack of trying on your part. So I'm warning you. Stay away from her."

Tillman nodded and his hand found the door knob. "Yes sir. Is there anything else, sir?"

"Not at the time. Dismissed Lieutenant." He smiled slightly as Tillman fled the room as if his heels were on fire. He turned back and took his seat at the desk. Opening up a box, he pulled out a framed photograph. While Mac had favored pictures from Greece, his favorite picture was of the two of them at their first formal event as a couple. She had looked breathtaking in a chocolate colored lace gown. That night had been so special to him. It was the first time they had professed their love for one another. He sat the frame on the edge of his desk, right next to his prized photo of himself and his father. "We're going to get back to that place, Mac." He said to her image. "We will. I promise. And I never make promises I can't keep."

* * *

The work day was coming to an end and Mac couldn't be more relieved. Her nerves were shot from her early morning run in with Harm. She loaded her briefcase with the files she had to catch up on and headed out to her car. She wasn't at all surprised to see Harm sitting on the front steps, waiting for her.

He stood when he saw her and swallowed nervously. "How was your first day?"

Mac shrugged. "It was fine. I have about 4000 files to review, so I stayed pretty busy." She glanced at him and they began the walk to the car. "What about you?"

"It was fine. I need to tell you something though."

"Those words terrify me." She said softly.

"I know." They were quiet for a moment, before he started to tell her of his confrontation with Brent.

"Harm, there is nothing there. And you had no right to do that. It's none of your business."

"It is my business." He argued. "You're my wife and he's interested in you. I've been witness to enough men being interested in you to know it when I see it."

She glared at him and pulled out her car keys. "He can be as interested as he wants to be. It doesn't mean that I am."

"I know. I just get so jealous at the thought of anyone else with you."

She bit gently on her lower lip and tried unsuccessfully to stop the tears from coming once again. "You get jealous at the thought of me with anyone else." She shook her head and opened her car door. "Welcome to my world. Put yourself in my shoes if you'd like. While you're jealous that another man finds me attractive, think about how I feel knowing you slept with someone else. Do you have any clue what that's like? Knowing that the person you love more than anyone in the world undressed someone else. Placed kisses over her body. Moved inside her the way you've moved inside of me for the past year and a half." The tears had fallen from her eyes and were slowly drying on her cheeks when she reached up to wipe them away. "Put yourself in my shoes, Harm." She got in her car and shut the door, driving off leaving him standing in the parking lot staring after her. And wondering how in the hell they'd ever get though this.

**_End Part Six_**

I'm pretty excited about the next part. Therapy! Should be interesting. Don't forget to leave feedback. I'd love to know what you thought!


	7. Seven

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed. It is definitely appreciated. I hope you all will continue to do so. Feedback is seriously the best thing ever.

_**Part Seven**_

When Harm arrived at the Falls Church Medical Center the following day, he was more than a little shocked not to see Mac's little red Corvette in the nearly empty parking lot. She was early nearly everywhere she went. The insecure, irrational part of him worried she had changed her mind about attending therapy with him and trying to save their marriage. His more rational side figured she probably got held up at work. He parked his car as close to the entrance as possible and made his way inside. He scanned the sign in the lobby and headed towards the elevator once he located 'Dr. Sharon Cotswold'. Her office was on the second floor, so he made his way to the elevator and smiled politely at the others already on before verifying that the button for the second floor was glowing.

The idea of therapy terrified him. Not only did the thought of openly discussing his feelings in depth with anyone other than Mac terrify him, but also he was also scared that therapy could be the final nail in the coffin of their marriage. He was thrilled that Mac was willing to attend therapy with him, but what if the therapist she found was someone who had been affected by infidelity herself, and would try and convince Mac that she should leave him. After all, not many women could live with a husband who had been unfaithful.

The bell finally dinged for his floor. He excused himself and squeezed past a pregnant woman and an elderly gentleman with a cane. Dr. Cotswold's practice was at the end of the hall, so he had a few more minutes to settle his nerves before going inside. He opened the door and was shocked to find his wife inside, flipping through a glossy copy of Vogue.

"Hey." He said, taking the seat next to her. 'I didn't see your car out front."

She closed the magazine and put it back in her massive leather bag before looking at him. "I've got Bud & Harriet's minivan."

"Is something wrong with your car?" The concern was evident in his voice.

Mac shook her head, "No. Bud and Harriet are going out of town tonight for the weekend and I'm watching AJ. So it made more sense for me to take their van than to try and squeeze all of his things in the Corvette."

"You could have gotten the Lexus from me."

She shrugged. "I know, but this is fine. I let them take my car, since it's much more fun to take a sports car on a romantic weekend than a van anyways." They say there in silence for a moment before she turned to face him. "You're early."

Harm smiled and nodded. "I figure I can't afford to start out on the wrong foot with our therapist." He studied his hands for a moment before making a confession of sorts. "When I didn't see your car out front I was more than a little concerned that maybe you changed your mind about this."

Mac sighed and tucked an errant strand of dark hair behind her ear. "I told you I would come, Harm. I meant it. I'm not sure if our marriage is fixable, but I am willing to try."

* * *

Dr. Cotswold's receptionist called their names shortly after Harm's arrival. While they walked towards the inner office, his hand automatically went to the small of her back. A place his hand had been comfortable at for years. However, this time, unlike the countless times before, she flinched at his touch. That one action hurt him deeply, almost more than her asking him to leave the apartment. He had always touched her freely and now losing the ability to touch her in even the most unobtrusive ways made their current situation all the more real to him.

"Sorry." He said quietly. The apology was brisk, but both noticed the pain in his voice.

"It's okay." She said her voice just as soft.

Once inside the inner office, they both took note of Dr. Cotswold's appearance with more than a little surprise. She was petite and elderly, her silver hair was cut short and her blue eyes sparkled.

"Dr. Cotswold?" Mac asked.

The therapist stood and shook both of their hands. "Yes, it's nice to meet you both." She released Harm's hand. "Please, have a seat." Her patients sat side by side on the leather sofa and looked at her expectantly. "So, when I spoke to Mrs. Rabb yesterday, she only told me that there have been marital difficulties, but didn't go into the specifics of the difficulties. Why don't the two of you tell me what has been going on."

At the same moment, they both turned their head to look at one another. Mac broke the gaze first and dropped her head to study her hands. Harm sighed softly and looked back at the doctor. "When I was in California on business, I was unfaithful to my wife."

"You had an affair." Sharon said simply; bluntly.

He sighed and leaned back against the sofa. "I really hate referring to it as an affair." He heard a snort from Mac and turned to face her. "What?"

"If it's not an affair, what the hell would you call it?" She asked.

Harm shrugged. "I'm not sure. A one night stand, I guess. A huge mistake. But for me, an affair is ongoing. It involves more than just sex. It involves feelings and deception. And this mistake was none of that. It was one night of drunken sex."

"It was still sex, Harm." Mac twisted her rings around her finger and glanced over at him. "It was still a betrayal. No matter how you see it, or categorize it, to me it was an affair."

"Okay. Stop." Sharon said. "This isn't going to get us anywhere. The problem is that Harm was unfaithful." She watched them both nod and than she focused on Harm. "So, why did you do it?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I've asked myself that question so many times. All I know is that I was at a bar having dinner. I had a couple of beers. I talked with this young woman sitting next to me about how much I missed Mac. Apparently, we kept drinking and ended up going through a bottle of tequila. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in a strange apartment. With a strange woman next to me." Even with the five to six inches of space between them, he could feel her tense with his last comment.

"Do you normally drink that much, Harm?"

He shook his head once again. "No. Not usually. At least not since Mac and I became a couple."

Sharon noticed that comment and made a notation. She'd have to find out later on, why he quit drinking and what that had to do with the beginning of their relationship. "So why were you drinking that evening?"

"I missed my wife." He said simply. He glanced over at Mac, to find her avoiding his gaze; looking in every which direction except for at him.

"So you only missed her that one evening?"

He frowned and began to think his fears about therapy were legitimate. "No! I missed her constantly. Every single day I wanted to be at home with her." He looked over at her again, and was pleased to see her looking back at him.

"Well, what happened that night that caused you to turn to alcohol and another woman?"

"Oh my God." Mac said, coming to a sudden realization. "That's the night I told you about Brent." She stood up and towered over him. "You slept with someone else because I told you about my new coworker?"

"Mac, it wasn't about Brent."

She shook her head. "No. It was and you know it. You get jealous every time a man looks at me. Normally you pout a little but you get over it. Why didn't you get over it this time?"

"I don't know."

Sharon watched their interaction with interest. Now that they had stopped bickering, she interjected herself back in the conversation. "Mac, please have a seat." She turned back to Harm. "So, Harm, you were jealous of your wife's new coworker." He sighed and nodded and she leaned back. "Why were you jealous?"

"I don't know." He repeated.

She shook her head. "You do know. You just have to think about it. What was it about Mac and her coworker that made you jealous?"

He ran his hand through his dark hair and than looked at his hands. "The last time I left JAG for a reason connected to flying, I came back and my world had been turned upside down. I felt like my world had moved on without me."

"And why did you feel that way," Sharon gently probed.

"Being in the military is more than just a job. It becomes your life. The people you serve with become closer than family. When I left to return to flying, it was difficult to stay in contact. When I left flying to return to JAG everything was different when I got back. Our Godson had grown and had begun to form connections to people and he had no clue who I was. Mic Brumby, an officer from Australia had become part of the team. He had my office and had taken my place in Mac's life."

"He hadn't taken your place." She said softly.

"It felt like he had. You two had become good friends, he had my office, he had bonded with Bud… I felt so left out."

"Did you think that could happen again?" Sharon asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"What happened with Mr. Brumby?" She watched as Harm and Mac shared another look and asked her question again.

"He and I ended up engaged." Mac said. "We almost got married, but the night before our wedding, Harm was flying back to Washington and had a problem with his plane. He went down in the middle of the Atlantic. I asked Mic if we could push back the wedding, but he was convinced it would never happen and returned to Australia."

"Were you and Harm romantically involved before Mr. Brumby came into your life?" Mac shook her head and Sharon looked at Harm. "So, Harm, why were you so concerned? You and Mac are married. You two had a bond and a commitment that wasn't there before. So why the jealousy? The insecurity?"

He looked at Mac and then at the doctor and vocalized something he had only ever said out loud once before. "We," he started, looking at Mac, "shared a pretty intense kiss the night of her engagement party to Mic." He felt the couch cushions shift and looked and saw Mac stand.

"I can't believe you." She whispered, "I can't believe you could even think what happened between us could happen between Brent and I. I don't even like him. He's a good lawyer, but not a great human being."

He stood and put his hand on her elbow. "Mac, I was jealous. I was lonely. I was pissed off that I might not get to be with you on our anniversary. And when I called your phone that night and Harriet said you and Brent were playing pool, it just amplified my jealousy."

Sharon couldn't take her eyes off of them. The sexual tension between them was unbelievable. And based on the way they looked at one another, the jealousy Harm felt was completely irrational. However, irrational or not, jealousy played a significant part in what they were both feeling now. But there was no way that their problems were solely the result of jealousy and insecurity. "Ok guy, I think we've done enough for today." She capped her pen and smiled at they looked at her; probably having forgotten she was even in the room. "We're going to call it a day, but first I need to ask you both a few questions." She waited for them to nod before continuing. "Jealousy is obviously an issue, but I feel like there is more. I want us to keep going to find the reason for the jealousy and find out why this happened. But first, I need to know if the two of you are both committed to trying to put your marriage back together. This is going to be a very difficult, emotionally draining process. If either one of you has doubts about whether or not you want to make this work, I need to know now."

Both Sharon and Harm looked at Mac, who sighed and shoved her hands in her pockets. "I want my marriage to work. I want to forgive him so we can get on with our lives. But I don't know if I can."

Harm turned to face her and brought his hand up to cup her cheek. "Mac, that's all I'm asking."

She backed away from his touch, causing his hand to drop. "Please don't touch me, Harm. You touching me makes this even more difficult." He nodded and out his own hands into his pockets.

"You may not think so," Sharon started, "but I think we're off to a good start. The two of you can make an appointment on your way out, and I'll see you next time." She watched as they nodded and left her office. She sat down at her desk and sighed. As sad as she was for any couple going through something as difficult as this, she was intrigued by them. Working with the two of them was going to be interesting to say the least.

**_End Part Seven_**

Let me know what you think! These two have tons of issues and drama and I for one am looking forward to them getting it all out.


	8. Eight

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed. It is definitely appreciated. I hope you all will continue to do so.

Oh. And **JagAddict**: I can't speak for other FF authors who have done an adultery storyline, but I can tell you why I made Harm the adulterer: alcohol. I don't believe that alcohol is any kind of justification for committing adultery, but I do think it makes it easier to forgive. If Mac was the one to cheat, in order for it not to be deliberate or planned, it would require her being drugged or something that I didn't really feel like dealing with. And I'm not entirely sure how this is going to end up yet, but I do know I'd like to work on Mac forgiving Harm and them rebuilding their marriage. But, we'll see.

_**Part Eight**_

Harm took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door. He knew that stopping by this way would anger her, but he didn't care. Today was their first anniversary and he wanted to see his wife. He also knew he'd probably end up getting to spend some time with her once AJ saw him. AJ would want him to stay and Mac was unable to tell the little boy 'no' to pretty much anything.

Mac pulled the door opened and her eyes widened in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

He pulled a nicely wrapped gift from behind his back and extended it to her. "I know this isn't how we planned our anniversary, but that doesn't change the fact that it is." The box was long and slim and looked to be jewelry. "Please take it, Mac."

She sighed and opened the door wide. "Come on in." She took the box out of his hand and walked inside the apartment, letting him follow her.

"Uncle Harm!" The four year old raced around the couch and lunged at Harm. Harm caught him easily and lifted him up before depositing the two of them on the couch. "What's that, Aunt Mac?"

Mac smiled softly at her godson. "It's a present from Uncle Harm. Buddy, why don't you go change your clothes so we can go to the park after this." She watched as he hopped up and scampered away before meeting Harm's heavy gaze before gently tearing into the elegant paper. When the paper was gone, her breath caught in her throat when she saw the Coach trademark on the box. She lifted the lid and gasped. "It's gorgeous." She lifted out the delicate silver watch and fingered the cool metal. "I don't think I can accept this."

He shook his head. "Don't, Mac. Don't do this. I know you love this watch and wanted this watch. Please take it. If it helps, I bought it before everything happened." He reached over and picked it up. He took her wrist in his other hand and then clasped the watch around it.

"I don't have a gift for you." She said. "I did, but it was non refundable, so I gave it to Bud & Harriet."

He looked at her, confusion clear on his face. "What was it?"

"A weekend at the Homestead Inn." She looked at him and gave him a sad smile. "We had said we'd go there again when I wasn't broken anymore, so I thought it would be perfect for our anniversary."

"I'm so sorry."

She nodded. "I know you are." A small blonde hurricane came storming into the room, giggling as Harm caught him around the waist and pulled him onto his lap.

"Wanna come with us?" AJ looked up at Harm, hopeful that his favorite uncle would come with them.

"If it's okay with your Aunt Mac, buddy." Harm glanced at Mac and quickly glanced away. She was pissed and he knew it.

"I can't believe you did that." She hissed. He knew she wouldn't be able to say no and disappoint AJ. With a sigh, she nodded. "Of course he can."

* * *

"I can't believe you manipulated me by using a four year old." Mac said as they watched AJ play.

"I did not manipulate you. I wanted to see you on our anniversary. I just also knew AJ would want me to stay. And I'm not using him. I missed him a lot when I was away and I always love spending time with him." Harm casually dropped his arm around the back of the park bench and let his fingers brush over Mac's shoulder. She either didn't notice or chose not to say anything, so he happily left his hand there.

She had felt the light touch. Her shoulder now felt as if it were burning where his fingers had been. She closed her eyes momentarily and remembered a time when his hands moved over her entire body without a trace of the shyness that his current touch was full of. She hated therapy, but wanted their marriage to work so badly. The rawness was slowly starting to fade. She was beginning to accept that this had happened and not wanted to figure out how they could move forward.

"I can't believe how big he's getting." Harm said as they watched AJ run around with the dogs. "It's hard to believe he'll be five next year."

Mac's eyes went wide and she turned to him. "He will be five."

Harm nodded and pulled his hand away. He folded his hands together and put them in his lap. "You know, I actually thought about the deal before California. When we decided to start trying for a baby."

"If things had worked out the way we planned, we would hopefully have been parents for a few months by his birthday."

"We still can be." Harm said.

She laughed bitterly and shook her head. "That isn't going to happen, Harm."

"Yes it will." He argued. "Mac, you and I are going to make this work. I have complete faith in that. We belong together. Yes, I made a huge mistake and I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you and only you, but it was one mistake. I refuse to believe that we can't get through this." He grabbed her hand and held on tightly when she tried to pull away. "I've made you a lot of promises, Mac. And I haven't kept them all. But given another chance, I will. I want you to believe that."

"I believe you want to."

"I will, Mac. I will love you for the rest of my life. I will never lie, and I will always, always be faithful to you. We will have a family together. We will grow old together. I promise you that. And I'm going to do whatever I can to regain your trust."

* * *

Harriet and Mac smiled as they watched Bud carry their sleeping child down to the van.

"So the weekend was nice?" Mac asked, as she walked with Harriet to the door.

"It was better than nice," Harriet said with a dreamy smile, "it was perfect."

"Good, I'm glad."

Harriet sighed and put her hand on Mac's shoulder. "There were flowers set up in the room. Along with a card from the hotel staff wishing the two of you a happy anniversary." She watched as her friend looked away and Harriet tugged on her sleeve, trying to regain her attention. "I'm so sorry I forgot."

"Don't be. I'm serious. Don't be."

She nodded and dropped her hand. "Well, I guess I better go. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Okay." Mac followed her to the door and shut and locked it behind her. She looked around the suddenly quiet apartment and walked back to the couch. She looked at her new watched and gently ran a finger over the rectangular face. Harm had laughed at her the first time she pointed out the watch.

'_Why on earth would you of all people spend that much on a watch?' He had said with a laugh._

_She had smirked at him, before turning her attention back to the display. 'Maybe so people won't always ask how I do my time thing. Besides, it's gorgeous.'_

_He had tipped her face up and lightly kissed her lips. 'It's just a watch. You are gorgeous.'_

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the pleasant memory. It was hard enough to stay strong without being bombarded with memories of happier times. With a sigh, she stood and picked up the living room before disappearing to a long and hopefully relaxing bubble bath.

**End Part 8**

I know this was _really_ short, but I really hate jumping all over the place. But don't worry, the next part will be longer and will be up before you know it!


	9. Nine

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thank you to everyone who read & reviewed. It is definitely appreciated. I hope you all will continue to do so. And I was surprised with the last part about how many people were worried about my note. Don't worry. I am a shipper, have always been a shipper & will always be a shipper. And the ending will be satisfying to almost everyone.

**Also**: So sorry that it has taken so long to get this part up… RL has been… well, hectic is an understatement, but you get the picture. Between Summer classes, helping my 3 closest friends plan their weddings (ever been Maid of Honor in two weddings at the same time?), work... blah blah blah... yeah.

_**Part Nine**_

Mac hurried into the waiting room of Dr. Cotswold's office and dropped breathlessly into the seat next to Harm. He glanced up at her with an amused look on his handsome face which quickly turned into a full blown grin.

"I've known you for over seven years, Mac, and I have never, ever seen you late for anything."

She glared at him before glancing at her watch, not that she needed to. "It's your fault I'm late."

The amusement quickly turned to shock. "How is it my fault?"

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but Admiral Morris wanted to inform me of the blatant hostility between you and Tillman. He said it made court pretty interesting this morning."

Harm sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I hate that guy." He muttered.

"Harm, leave him alone. He's a decent lawyer, even if he isn't the greatest man. So just do your job and leave any personal feelings you have towards him out of the courtroom."

He glanced at her and nodded. "I know I should, but after all those years of working together, you know I have a difficult time with that."

She nodded. "I'm very well aware of that. You have to remember, I was there the day you fired that weapon in Morris' courtroom. But please try."

"I will. If for no other reason than I don't want an Admiral in the United States Navy to run and tell my wife every little thing I do wrong." He was pleased with the small smile that earned him and he looked her over, stopping at her hands to do his customary daily check. She still had her rings on. As long as she wore her wedding rings, he was able to keep the faith that they would be able to work all of their problems out.

"Mr. and Mrs. Rabb?" The receptionist called their names and watched them stand, "Dr. Cotswold can see you now."

Both nodded and began to make their way to the inner office. Recognizing that some of the iciness between them had thawed, Harm tried again to place his hand on the small of her back. She went stiff, but didn't flinch. Nor did she pull away from him. He released a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding and continued walking forward.

* * *

They sat side by side on the sofa again. Space was still between them, but this time there wasn't enough room for a whole other person. Dr. Cotswold took note of that with pleasure, but surprise. "Before we start, I'd like to make an observation if I may." She smiled as both of her patients nodded their approval. "Good. You two look more comfortable with one another today. I'm taking that as a good sign."

Mac glanced at Harm and shrugged. "I guess we are. We spent a little time together this weekend, which clarified some things for me."

"Care to tell me more about it?"

"Well, Harm essentially tricked me into spending most of the day with him on Saturday."

"I did not trick you!" Harm exclaimed, indignant.

She rolled her eyes. "You did too. You knew that if AJ asked you to stay I wouldn't be able to tell him no."

"Who is AJ?"

"AJ is our Godson." Harm answered. "His parents were out of town this weekend and Mac was keeping him."

"Did you know he would be there when you stopped by?"

He nodded, embarrassed. "Yes." He sighed and dropped his hands onto his legs. "I wanted to see my wife and spend some time with her. And yes, I knew Mac wouldn't be able to tell AJ that I couldn't stay." He looked away from Dr. Cotswold and glanced at Mac. "It was our anniversary. I had to see you."

"Saturday was your anniversary?" She asked gently. The couple nodded and she made another notation. Once she was finished, she looked up from the leather portfolio she took notes in and uncrossed and re-crossed her legs. "Well, we'll get started. Harm, last time we talked about your problem with jealousy." She waited for him to nod before continuing. "I'd like to talk about something else you said last time as well. I asked if you normally drank as much as you did the night of your… infidelity. And you said you normally didn't, not since you and Mac became a couple. Why is that?"

Harm looked at his wife and sighed. He opened his mouth once before he was able to get the words out. "Mac is an alcoholic. And I typically don't drink when I'm with her and before I got sent to California, we were almost always together in social situations."

"Mac, do you have a problem with Harm drinking around you?"

She shook her head. "Not really. Not until this happened. I've actually never seen him drunk in all the time we've known one another."

"So, if Mac doesn't have a problem with it, why do you normally not drink?"

He shrugged. "I guess out of respect for her. And I don't want her to have to smell it on me, or taste it on me when we kiss."

"That's logical." Dr. Cotswold said. She glanced at Mac and studied the younger woman. "Mac, I have to admit I'm a little surprised by that. You're possibly the most composed, together woman I've ever met. How did you become an alcoholic?"

"I don't feel that my alcoholism affects our situation, so I'd prefer not to talk about it if you don't mind." She fidgeted with her fingers before looking over at Harm.

The doctor nodded and made another note. "That's fine. I have a feeling it's more important than you realize, but if you don't want to talk about it now, that's fine. Harm, I know you probably feel like I'm picking on you, but I would like to focus on you again today."

Harm sighed and nodded. "That's fine."

"I've been doing some thinking since our last session and I've come to some realizations about you and the impact your career has on your life."

He sighed and leaned back. "I can tell you right now how important my career is to me. Other than my wife, it's more important to me than just about anything."

She nodded and leaned back herself. "I realize that, but you're completely defined by your career. On the questionnaire's Mac filled out about the two of you, she filled in that your father went MIA during the Vietnam War. So he was a Navy pilot as well?"

Harm nodded and sighed. "Yes. My father was a Navy pilot shot down on Christmas Eve 1969."

"Did you ever find out about what happened to him?"

He nodded again. "Yes, but it's a long story and honestly I'm not sure how much of it I can even talk about."

"When did you find out the truth about your father?"

"A few years ago."

"And how soon after finding out about him did you leave your job as a lawyer to go back to being a pilot?"

Knowing where this was headed, he sighed deeply. "Less than a year."

"I don't have access to your military files, so all I have to go on is what you're telling me and what Mac filled out on the questionnaires. But obviously, your father was the driving force behind your career."

He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from responding with a childish, 'well duh.' Harm sighed and nodded "Yes, I probably never would have gone to Annapolis and became a pilot if not for the adoration of my father. But once I crashed my plane and was no longer able to fly, I stayed in the Navy. I could have gotten a medical discharge, but I didn't. I stayed and tried something new. My father may have been the primary reason becoming an officer was initially so important to me, but even without his influence, it has still been a career and life that I loved."

"I am curious about something. You say you love your career, but as soon as you had the chance to return to flying, you took the chance. Why? Why leave behind the comfortable life you had built for yourself. Why leave behind friendships," Dr. Cotswold gestured to Mac, pulling his eyes to her as well, "Why leave behind everything for something you had already tried once, especially considering it didn't end well."

"I left everything behind because I joined the Navy to be a pilot. I was given a second chance and I had to take it. All my life I had wanted to be a pilot. Being a lawyer was not my ultimate career ambition."

"I think that shows how completely your career controls who you are. You were willing to give everything up for it. How many people would be willing to do that? Would you do it again?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No, I wouldn't."

"Why?" He expected the question, but it had come from the wrong person. Mac's eyes were still on him and the question on her lips.

"I don't ever want to leave you again." He stared at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the doctor. "Going back to flying was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It made me realize that being a pilot was in the past and being a lawyer was my future."

"Harm, you and Mac worked together at JAG, right?" They both nodded, so she continued. "Why did you leave, instead of Mac?"

"We didn't make the choice ourselves." Harm said, "Our commanding officer made it for us."

"So why did he decide that Mac would stay and you would go?"

Mac sighed and answered the question herself. "We didn't find this out until very recently, but it turned out there was a position opening at JAG headquarters, but under a different commanding officer, and it was only a matter of time before the position would open. Our boss thought that I would be well suited for the position, but in order for me to be able to do it, he needed me at JAG. So, he had me stay so that he could eventually transfer me and be able to keep both of us here."

"Well, that's logical." Dr. Cotswold said. "But since this was a recent revelation, Harm how did it make you feel, having to leave your life at JAG?"

He stared at his hands. "I felt so lost. Pretty much my entire career people have been telling me that I would become the Judge Advocate General some day. And then all of a sudden I lost it all. I felt like I did after my crash."

"You never told me this." Mac said, keeping Dr. Cotswold from being able to ask her next question. "Why didn't you tell me it bothered you so much?"

Harm shifted so he was looking at her. "Mac, you had already been willing to leave JAG. I couldn't let you know how upset I was because I know you would have turned in your resignation. I also didn't want you to think that I thought less of your legal abilities than I did of my own. I didn't want you to think I thought you didn't deserve to be there, or something along those lines."

"First of all, I would never think that. I know you respect me as a lawyer. Secondly, do you want children with me, Harm?"

The change in topics confused both Harm and Dr. Cotswold. "Of course I do."

"Well, if kids were in the picture, I wouldn't want to be at JAG. The job is dangerous and it requires entirely too much travel. I would want to spend more time with my kids. Not to mention I would have to take maternity leave, for each child we had. Logically it made more sense for you to stay and me to go."

He shook his head. "If I had been willing to just sit by and let you resign, you'd resent me, Mac. I know you will be an amazing mother, but you're also an amazing officer. You'd miss it too much and it would cause a strain on our marriage."

Her eyes turned cold and she leaned back against the sofa, her arms crossed over her chest. "A strain bigger than the one we're currently experiencing? I don't think so. Just think. If I had left JAG, we probably wouldn't be sitting here confiding in a complete stranger about our shattered marriage. We might have a baby on the way by now. We might have spent our anniversary at the Homestead Inn. Things would be completely different."

"No. No way. You can blame our problems on me, because they are my fault. But you are not going to blame them on me because I refused to let you resign your commission."

"This isn't getting us anywhere." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Dr. Cotswold butted in, shaking her head at Mac's last comment. "Yes, this is getting you somewhere. You may not feel like it is, since you're both getting angry at one another, but this is good. You're actually communicating. You two both hold too much in." She glanced at her watch and then at her patients. "I think we're at a decent stopping point for today. And I'd like for both of you to do something for me." She waited for them to nod, and then capped her pen and continued. "I'd like the two of you to spend some time together, socially. Lunch hour at work doesn't count." They both nodded and stood. "Good. Do it before our next session." She led them to the door and watched as they made their way to the reception area before shutting her door.

* * *

"So, since our next appointment is Friday afternoon," Harm said as they walked to their cars, "would you like to have dinner tomorrow?"

Mac fidgeted with her car keys and sighed. "Tomorrow is fine. But nothing romantic."

He nodded. "Ok. Is it okay if I pick you up from the apartment at 7:00?"

"I can meet you there."

He shook his head. "I'll pick you up at 7:00." He than grinned as she sighed and shook her head. "I love you. And I'll see you tomorrow."

She nodded. "Bye Harm."

Harm waited till she was in her car and had started it before he got into his own. Therapy was frustrating, but he felt like it was helping. He just hoped Mac felt the same way.

**End Part Nine.**

Once again, I'm so sorry this took a month. But hey, better than my last story (which went 4 months without an update, and one before that which went unfinished for 4 years)… I'm doing better!! And the next part is about halfway done, so look for another update by Friday.


	10. Ten

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thanks everyone for being so patient. And I know I had said this part would be up by Friday, but this part just wasn't working for me so I rewrote it about three times. I still don't love it, but oh well… hope you guys like it!

_**Part Ten**_

He ran his hands over the smooth thighs that were currently on each side of his hips. Her skin was always impossibly soft, and once they had become intimate touching her was something he had done as much as physically possible. He grinned as she moved her hands over his chest and he took advantage of the gesture to capture her hands with his own. He wrapped his fingers around her delicate wrists and brought her joined hands over his head.

"So beautiful," he said quietly, "I love you so much."

She nodded her eyes and throat both full with emotion. "I love you too." She lowered her body to his and met his lips in a tender kiss.

Their upper bodies had barely made contact when he flipped them over and hovered over her. He brushed his lips against the hollow of her throat and placed gentle kisses down her body. He stopped when he heard her breath catch in her throat. "Is this okay?"

"Yes. Please don't stop." She tilted her head back and moaned in ecstasy as he continued his ministrations. "Please don't ever stop."

* * *

Harm jerked awake as the alarm started blaring. He looked around the empty hotel room and collapsed back against the pillow.

"Damn it."

His dreams about Mac were getting more and more vivid. Spending time with her, even if it was just at therapy or an elevator ride together, it was apparently enough to spark his imagination. A few days earlier, he had dreamt of their first time together and had needed multiple cold showers to calm him down. The dreams clearly indicated that he missed their sexual relationship, but he missed everything about her, even simple things such as the light floral scent that lingered in the bathroom after her morning shower and the way she leaned against his chest while they relaxed on the couch after work.

Tonight they were going out to dinner. Dr. Cotswold had suggested it and he was so glad Mac hadn't put up a fight. He couldn't wait to spend some time with her and hoped the evening would go well. Mac had requested that they not go anyplace romantic, so he had found a burger place he thought they both would enjoy. They made custom burgers out of beef, turkey, veggies and even had heard good things about a crab cake burger they were currently featuring. He thought Mac would enjoy the place. Excited about spending time with his wife, he hopped out of bed before snoozing the alarm clock several times the way he did on a normal morning. He took a long slightly cool shower, trying to get rid of the remnants of his dream. He would never be able to focus in court with the memory of 'dream Mac' on top of him. When he finally emerged from the shower, he quickly toweled off and as he was walking towards the closet, he noticed the voicemail icon blinking on his phone. He groaned; knowing an early morning phone call could not mean anything good. He tightened the towel around his waist before sitting on the bed and then accessed his message.

"_Hello, Harmon, it's your mother_." The hairs on his arms stood up at the sound of his mother's distressed voice. "_I know we haven't spoken lately, but I need you. Frank had a massive coronary last night and the doctor hasn't told me anything yet. I just really need you here_." She sighed and then said, "_We're at Scripps Hospital here in La Jolla. I love you, son. Please call when you get a chance._"

Once he hung up the phone, he dropped it on the bed and threw the towel aside. Pushing past the starched white uniforms, he found a pair of jeans and a pale blue long sleeved t-shirt. When dressed, he picked up his phone again to make a few phone calls.

* * *

Mac poured herself a second cup of coffee and was washing and putting away her breakfast dishes when she heard her cell phone ringing from her purse. She abandoned the soapy water, wiped her hands on a towel and retrieved her phone. "Hello?"

"Mac, it's me."

She sighed and headed back to the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"I just got a message from mom. Frank had a massive coronary last night. She wants me to come up."

"Oh my God."

He sighed, knowing this would be hard on Mac as well. She and Frank had developed a close relationship. "They haven't told mom anything yet."

"Would you like me to go with you?"

"Are you serious?" He asked, the shock evident in his voice.

"Yes, of course. Do you not want me to?"

"No, of course I want you there. I'm just surprised you'd be willing to go with me."

Mac sighed softly and headed to the bedroom to start getting some things together. "I adore your parents, Harm. And your mom might very well need all the comfort she can get."

"Thank you, Sarah."

"You're welcome. I'll call Morris, you call Chegwidden and just stop by here when you're ready."

"I will. I'll see you soon."

* * *

Less than an hour later, Mac had a bag packed and the proper phone calls had been made and she now waited for Harm to pick her up. She paced around the apartment straightening pictures and knick knacks. Her fingers fell on a framed photo of her, Harm and the Burnett's during their wedding celebration. While Trish and Frank were mildly irked that they hadn't been present at the actual ceremony, they had been thrilled for the two of them. Trish had contacted Admiral Chegwidden to get use of his home and had thrown them a massive, lavish party upon their return from Greece.

She looked at the older couple in the framed image and sighed softly. She couldn't even fathom what Trish was going through right now. As difficult as her seperation from Harm was, she felt physically ill at the thought of his health failing and the possibility of him dying.

A quiet knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts. She hurried to the door and flung it open. A look at her husband showed her how difficult this was on him as well. He and Frank hadn't developed a close relationship until he had become an adult, but she knew how strong the bond between them had become. "Hey."

He gave her a ghost of his standard smile and nodded in greeting. "You all set?"

"I am." She picked up her purse and attempted to pick up her duffel bag, until he stopped her by grabbing it and tossing it over his own shoulder. "Are you doing okay?"

"I'll be fine," he said, unconvincingly, "I'm just worried about Mom."

"I know." She followed him into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind her.

* * *

The flight was quiet and uneventful. Both seemed lost in thought, and for the first time in weeks, neither of their thoughts was centered on their marital problems.

Mac glanced over at him and studied his face. Her handsome husband looked older when he was upset about something. Frank's health added to their already stressful situation made him look much older than he actually was. She took a deep breath and covered his hand with hers. "Everything is going to be okay."

He looked at her and raised his eyebrow. "Do you know this for a fact?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No, not completely positive. But Frank is relatively young, healthy and Scripps is one of the best hospitals in California."

"I don't know what Mom will do if anything happens to him." He sighed softly. "I don't know what I'd do either. I know I've idolized my father for most of my life, but Frank is really the only father I have a very clear memory of."

She rubbed her hand over his and twined their fingers together. He looked shocked at the movement and glanced up at her. She shook her head. "We have our problems, but you and you parents are my family and I want to be here for both of you in whatever way I can. We can continue to deal with our problems when we get home. Right now though, we just need to get through this and help your parents get through as well."

"You just being here is more than I thought I'd even be able to ask for." He turned his hand over so their palms were touching. "Thank you, Mac."

"You're welcome."

* * *

At they airport they retrieved their luggage, secured a rental car and headed to the hospital. Mac had offered to drive, but Harm shook his head saying that since he was so familiar with the area it made more sense for him to drive. They had been in the car for a few minutes when Harm timidly reached for her hand.

Mac welcomed the physical contact and leaned back in the seat. She watched the scenery pass by and sighed softly. "Dr. Cotswold got her way."

Harm glanced at her and grinned. "Yeah, I think we're seriously delivering on the whole 'spending time together' thing." He had been thinking about something since their first visit to Dr. Cotswold and decided to bite the bullet and asked, "Do you think therapy is helping?"

She sighed again. "I think it is. I'm still hurt and pissed off. And I'm still not sure what the future has in store for us, but I feel like seeing her is helping me to deal with things."

"What would you like for the future to hold for us?"

"I don't know, Harm." She turned her head to look at him and shrugged. "I've thought about it a lot and I still don't know what I want. I just don't know if I'll ever be able to get the thought of you and her out of my head. I close my eyes and it's all I see sometimes."

"You know what I see when I close my eyes?" He asked softly. He waited for her to shake her head before continuing. "Lately it's been our first time together."

A rosy blush flooded her cheeks. "Harm…"

"I can't help it, Mac. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you."

"I do too." Her words surprised him. "I know you may not believe that, but I do. But missing you doesn't change things. And it definitely doesn't change the fact that I have an image of her in my mind and every time I close my eyes I see the two of you together."

"No matter what you're imagining, I know it's an exaggeration. I don't remember much of that night, but I do know that she paled in comparison to you."

"If you don't remember the night how can you even make that statement?"

He looked at her, the sincerity in his eyes was nearly overwhelming. "Because everyone pales in comparison to you. Mac, I know I'm not the most romantic husband in the word, and I know I don't express my feelings as well as you'd like, but that is the absolute truth. You're everything, Mac."

She opened and shut her mouth a few times. "The exit for the hospital is coming up."

"Right." He focused his attention on the road and on what he'd find when they got to the hospital. Mac was here for him, and they were both here for his mother, and right now that was absolutely all that mattered.

**End Part 10**

Hope you guys are still enjoying this! Once again, sorry for the delays, but I'm officially done with summer school and since classes don't start back till August 25 I'm hoping to have this nearly completed by then. I, for one, am ready to get back to writing fluff, lol.


	11. Eleven

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: You guys are awesome. Thanks for sticking with me. Hope you guys enjoy it and I still love getting feedback.

_**Part Eleven**_

Trish Burnett embraced her daughter in law tightly before finally pulling away. "I'm so glad you're here." She said her voice almost a whisper.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." She could sense Harm getting antsy behind her. She squeezed Trish's hands once before stepping aside and allowing mother and son their own reunion.

"Mom…"

She shook her head. "Harm, right now all that matters is that the two of you are here." She stepped closer to her son and stifled a sob as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Everything is going to be okay." He murmured as he placed a kiss at her hairline. Once they separated, Harm held his mother by her elbows. "Have the doctors told you anything yet?"

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. "No. And it's been hours." Trish led them over to a plush sofa and sat down, Harm and Mac on either side of her. "I'm trying to keep telling myself that no news is good news, but I hate waiting."

"I know." Harm said. "Nothing is worse than waiting." He looked at the nurse's station and then looked at his wife. "I'm going to go see if I can find out anything. Do either of you need anything?"

Both women shook their heads and watched him get up and walk away.

Once he was occupied, Trish turned to Mac and studied her carefully. "How are you, darling?"

Mac laughed wryly. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Mac…" Trish started, her voice warning.

"I'm doing okay. Really, I am. We are seeing a therapist and it is helping. I just told Harm this morning that I'm not sure what's going to happen with us, but talking about it with someone is helping me deal with everything."

Trish covered the younger woman's hand. "I am not making any excuses for my son and I abhor what he did, but the two of you are so right for one another. I really want the two of you to be able to move past this."

"I know. I've always thought we were. Now everything is just so messed up and half the time I don't know what I want, what I feel… I don't know anything."

* * *

Harm had been unable to learn anything from any of the nurses. He made his way back to his family and sighed as he noticed them deep in conversation, more than likely about him and his monumental mistake. Mac saw him and offered a slight smile. He quickened his pace and took his seat next to his mother.

"I wasn't able to find anything. I swear it's easier to get information out of Webb and his people than it was from her. She assured me that they'd come find us and let us know as soon as they knew anything."

Trish nodded and leaned back against the sofa. "God, I hate waiting. I just want to know if my husband is going to be okay."

Harm opened his mouth to say something when he was cut off by the sound of a ringing cell phone. He retrieved his phone from the pocket of his coat and shot and apologetic look at his mother and wife before answering it. Once hearing who it was, he stood and walked away from his family again.

"Yes, this is Harmon Rabb." He was quiet as he listened to the caller and then released a huge sigh of relief. "So the HIV test was negative? You're sure?"

"Yes, Mr. Rabb. As of right now, the test was negative. However, it can take up to six months for the antibodies to show up, so you will need to be tested again in a few months."

Harm nodded. "Thank you very much. I'll call and set up an appointment soon." He ended the call and started walking back to the sofa when he saw a doctor pull off his surgical mask and approach his mother. He quickened his pace and hurried to the trio so he could hear what the doctor had to say.

* * *

"So he's going to be okay?" Mac asked after the doctor had finished explaining the outcome of the surgery.

He nodded. "Yes ma'am. He'll I believe he'll be fine. He will need to get more exercise. And despite what the majority of men in this area think, golf is not sufficient exercise. But we can talk about all of that once Mr. Burnett is awake."

"May I see him?" Trish asked.

He nodded. "Of course, Mrs. Burnett. I'll have Nurse Owens show you to his room." He looked at Harm and Mac. "Unfortunately he can only have one visitor at a time."

"That's fine." Harm said. "Mom, we're going to go drop our things off at the house." Realizing he just spoke for Mac, he looked at her sheepishly. "Is that okay?"

Both women nodded and Trish hugged them both before following the nurse to her husband's room. Once his mother was gone, Harm and Mac walked towards the exit of the hospital, his hand timidly on the small of her back.

"Is everything okay?" Mac asked after a moment of silence. She noted the confused look on his face and clarified. "Your phone call. You never walk away for phone calls unless it's serious. Is everything okay?"

He smiled. "Yes, everything is good. That was actually the doctor from a clinic in DC. From when I went and got tested for…" He let the sentence trail off, knowing she got the gist.

"And everything is good?"

He nodded. "So far, so good. They said that it can take up to six months for the antibodies to show up, so I'll need to be tested again in a few months, but more than likely I'm going to be fine."

Mac nodded, her stomach taking up residence in her throat. She knew she had asked him to get the tests, but hearing about them was difficult for her. It was one more reminder of what he had done and how badly damaged their marriage was. She turned her face away from him and stared out the window. She had spoken to Trish since her and Harm had separated, but was surprised by the lack of affection that Trish normally had for her son. She had almost felt bad for him.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

She turned to look at him again. "I'm fine. Just thinking about everything."

He glanced at her and then at the road. They were just moments from his parent's home. "You remember the first time you came here with me?"

Mac frowned and nodded. "Of course I do."

He gestured at the beach with his head. "I asked you to live with me right on that beach. We talked about marriage for the first time right on that beach."

"I remember Harm!" She snapped. "I was there. I remember every detail of the nights we spent on the beach here." She looked at the water and sighed. "I was just thinking about playing that question game with you. One of the questions was about adultery."

He nodded. "I remember. I remember that I said I didn't know if it was something I could forgive."

"I know. And I said it was something I could forgive if it was nothing more than a drunken one night stand and there were children in the picture."

"I remember you saying that because you want your children to have the kind of childhood you didn't have. But Mac, we have such a promising future ahead of us. Even though we don't have kids yet, I'm still holding onto hope that we'll be able to move forward."

"I want to be able to." She looked at her hands and sighed. "I don't want to think about this right now. We're here for your parents. Everything else can wait till we're home."

* * *

The next two days went by in a blur. Once Frank had woken up, Trish put them to work getting the house ready for his return. The doctors had given him a strict diet to stick to, so they cleansed the house of any of the foods not specified and stocked it with white meat chicken, seafood, plenty of vegetables.

Once they had returned from their second trip to the grocery store, Harm started preparing dishes while Mac put things away.

"Making these meals for your parents is really considerate of you."

He smiled and shrugged. "It's the least we can do. Since Frank is going to be okay, we have to go back to DC in a few days and I just don't think Mom is up to caring for Frank, working, and cooking."

Mac poured a box of whole wheat pasta in the proper canister and smiled. Times like this she knew that even though he wasn't perfect and he made mistakes, he was still one of the best men she had ever known. Given the animosity between Harm and his mother over his infidelity, a lot of men would have used that as an excuse to not have to help out. But not Harm. He heard that his mother needed help and he was literally on the next flight across the country. She turned to face him and noticed the blinking light on the answering machine. She reached over and pressed the play button.

"Harm, Mac, it's mom." They both stopped what they were doing when they noticed the shaky sound of her voice. "Frank isn't doing well. He had a relapse and they've taken him back into surgery." Not bothering to listen to the rest of the message, Harm grabbed some tinfoil to put over the casserole dish he had been working on and headed to the fridge, while Mac grabbed her purse and car keys. They hurried out of the house, praying that Frank would pull through.

* * *

It almost felt like déjà vu as they stepped back into the familiar waiting room and embraced his mother. Although this time, there was less coldness between mother and son and there was increased closeness between the estranged husband and wife. Mac knew this was harder on Harm than he let on. Once they had returned from Russia all of those years ago, he really opened up to Frank and they developed a close relationship. Now, here he was, possibly dying and Harm was on the verge of having to say goodbye to a second father.

They sat in the waiting room, more or less in silence. Mac felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out to glance at the caller ID. "Oh crap." She muttered.

Harm glanced at her and the phone in her hands. "Is it work?"

She shook her head. "Worse. Dr. Cotswold."

He looked at his watch and groaned. "We were supposed to be in her office ten minutes ago."

Mac nodded and answered the phone, stepping away from the sofa as she did so. "Dr. Cotswold I am so sorry."

"It's fine, Mac. I'm just making sure everything is okay?"

She glanced at the sofa and sighed. "Things with Harm and I are fine. Well, as fine as they were last time we saw you. But his stepfather had a massive heart attack a few days ago. We've been in La Jolla for the past few days and I just forgot to call."

"Well, I'm very sorry to hear about his stepfather. Please relay my condolences."

"I will. We'll call when we're back in the city to reschedule our appointment."

"Mac, one thing. You're there with him?"

She sighed, "Of course I am. He's still my husband and other than my uncle, his parents are the only family I've ever known."

"I think it's wonderful you're there." Dr. Cotswold said. "I know you're still unsure about a lot of things, but being there with him is very telling."

Mac rolled her eyes and looked back at her family. "We can discuss all of this in our next session. Right now isn't a great time to discuss this." She said her goodbyes and hung up the phone, slipping it back in her pocket. "Dr. Cotswold sends her condolences."

"Who's that?" Trish asked.

"Our therapist." Harm shook his head as his mother smiled. "And to think of all the times you tried to get me to talk to someone when I was younger..."

She smiled and leaned her head against her son's shoulder. "You and Mac have to fix this." She said softly. "You have to make things right."

"I'm trying my hardest, Mom." He looked over his mother's head at Mac and tried to gauge her reaction to his mother's comment. Their eyes locked briefly, before Mac looked away and focused her gaze on her wedding rings. A thought came to her and she looked up from her hands and at her husband. _Her husband_. The man she had vowed to love for the rest of her life.

'_I want my marriage to be okay.' _She said to herself_. 'Everything has to be okay.'_

**End Part 11**

Reviews are much appreciated :)


	12. Twelve

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thanks so much for the reviews! I love reading what you guys think. I had hoped to get this up earlier, but it has been a busy week and an… interesting weekend.

_**Part Twelve**_

Harm unlocked the door to his parent's house and stepped aside so Mac could enter first. Once they were both inside, he shut the door, locked it and dropped his keys on the small table in the foyer. "I don't know about you," he started, "but I am exhausted."

She gave him a small smile and nodded. "I know. I don't remember the last time I've been this tired, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep at all. This day has been crazy."

"I know. I'm just so relieved Frank pulled through. I really don't know how my mom would have survived if she had lost him." He watched her run her fingers through her dark locks and pull them into a ponytail. '_Just like I don't know how I'd survive losing you_.' He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. "I'm going to go take a shower and change." She nodded and he disappeared into the guest room he was staying in, shutting the door behind him.

Mac watched him leave and than looked out the French doors to admire the ocean. She slipped off her shoes and socks and rolled up the legs of her jeans and went outside. The air was crisp, but not cold and the salty ocean air was immediately soothing. She dropped herself in the sand and stared at the water. The past few days with Harm had tried her nerves, her patience and had dissipated some of her anger. He had done everything she had asked. He had given her time and space. He had opened up at counseling and actually talked about what was bothering him. She knew they had a ways to go, but their marriage was worth saving. She didn't want to let one mistake, albeit a huge one, ruin the future they had been planning if she could help it.

She was unsure of how much time had passed, but after a while, she felt his presence behind her. She sat unmoving as he timidly joined her in the cold sand.

"I couldn't find you and I started to get concerned until I remembered how much you loved it out here."

"It's so peaceful," she said softly. "I could sit out here all night."

He grinned and handed her a blanket. "I know that. I also know it gets cold out here at night." Her smile was grateful as she covered herself with the blanket. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. You've just seemed a little off all day."

Mac turned her head towards him and nodded. "You've always been a little too perceptive when it comes to me."

"Not always. There have more than a few times when I've been completely clueless."

"Not since you admitted how you felt. When you opened up to me, you really opened up." She looked back towards the water and sighed softly. "Harm, I've been thinking a lot about us all day."

He tried to ignore the fear pooling in his belly at her words. "I have to admit I'm a little scared to ask."

"I want us to work." She said her voice soft. "We have to get through this, Harm. There isn't any other option." He didn't say anything for a moment so she looked at him again and smiled at the expression on his face. She had seen him speechless very few times, and seeing him like that always amused her. "Say something."

"You're serious?" He watched as she nodded and he looked away from her and to the water. "Mac, I- I don't know what to say."

"You do want the same thing, don't you?"

He turned his head to her so quickly, she worried he might suffer from whiplash. "Of course I do. I'm just… it's just…" He looked in her eyes and raised his hand to cup her cheek. "There was a part of me that didn't think I'd ever hear you say that."

She timidly raised her hand and covered his. "I love you. I always have and I always will. And everything that happened was a huge mistake. It was the culmination of poor communication, jealousy, insecurity… all things that we're going to have to work on. But what we have has the potential to be too amazing just to toss aside because things are currently difficult."

"Did everything with mom & Frank make you realize this?"

"Yeah." She said softly. "If Frank had died, I don't know what your mother would have done. I can't imagine how devastating that would be. So I put myself in her shoes. Granted, we haven't been married for thirty years but I love you more than anything or anyone in the world. And losing you, when we have other options just seems ridiculous to me." Her words were cut off when he pulled her closer to him and placed a timid kiss on her lips. She let the kiss continue for a moment before using her free hand to push him away. "No. I'm not ready for this yet."

Harm brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. "Take as much time as you need." He brought her hand up to his mouth and brushed his lips over her knuckles.

* * *

The next few days were a flurry of activity. Frank was doing much better and the doctors once again gave him the okay to come home. Harm made himself busy preparing meals for his parents, while Mac took care of other things around the house per Trish's request. One of the things on the list was setting up a guest room downstairs for him to stay in during the first part of his recovery period, so she spend several hours making the room as comfortable for him as she could and moving his necessities to the first floor. Harm and Mac didn't speak much due to the amount of work they were trying to get done in such a short period of time, but the atmosphere in the Burnett's house was drastically different than how it had been before. The silence was no longer stifling and whenever Harm would brush up against her or look at her and smile slightly, she no longer felt nervous or apprehensive. Their situation was slowly improving.

When Trish brought Frank home from the hospital, the relationships between the small family seemed almost as it had been prior to Harm's infidelity. Everything that had happened with Frank had seemed to have an impact on the relationship between mother and son.

Once they were home from the hospital, Mac took Frank out to the deck, so that Harm and Trish could spend a little time alone before he and Mac flew back to DC in the next few days. Frank watched the waves rolling in and sighed softly. "For a while I never thought I'd see this again."

She glanced at him and nodded. "We were all terrified. I'm so glad you're going to be okay."

"Me too." He looked through the glass doors at his wife and then turned back to his daughter-in-law. "I couldn't imagine leaving her. I don't ever want to leave her. Logically I know someday I will, but I plan on at least another ten to twenty years. Hopefully we'll have enough time to at least become grandparents."

Mac blushed and turned towards the water. "Was that your way of segueing this conversation to Harm and myself?"

Frank laughed and nodded. "I guess I'm kind of predictable."

She smiled, "Maybe just a little. But Harm and I are committed to working through things. I want our marriage to work and I'm going to do whatever I can to see that it does."

"I'm so glad to hear that, Mac. You two are so right for each other. I know if any couple could move past something as big as this, it would be the two of you."

She looked inside and saw Harm embrace his mother and then disappear into the kitchen. She glanced back at Frank and sighed. "I know this is going to make me sound insecure, but I need to ask you something."

"You're like a daughter to me; you can ask me anything."

"I know you were the one who suggested marriage counseling to Harm. Did you have to work to convince him to do it, or was he willing to try anything?"

Frank shook his head and smiled. "I didn't have to convince him to do anything. I suggested it and he thanked me for the advice. He was devastated over what he had done, Mac. He truly was. I hadn't heard that much pain in his voice since he came to us to tell us what he had learned about his father." He watched the waves for a moment before continuing. "I know he hurt you, Mac, but he loves you so much. I'm so glad you're the most stubborn woman I've ever known and you're refusing to give up on your marriage."

She laughed and laid her head on his shoulder. "Me too, Frank. Me too."

* * *

The four of them had enjoyed a nice dinner, but the slight ease in tension had made a return. Mac was more quiet than she had been and seemed lost in though. Trish had tried several times during dinner to start conversation, but nothing seemed to work. Harm finally just shook his head at his mother and they let her be. After dinner, she disappeared and Harm gave her a little bit of time to herself before grabbing a blanket and heading out to the beach to find her.

"So what's on your mind?"

She looked at him briefly and then back at the ocean. "I realized how close we are to Miramar."

He nodded, "Yeah, about 15 minutes."

Mac took a deep breath before meeting his eyes. "Harm, I want to see her."

"Mac…"

She shook her head. "Don't try and talk me out of it or tell me it's not a good idea. I need to see her for myself. You have no idea how hard it is for me when I picture you with her. Half the time I picture someone who looks identical to Renee, the other half of the time I picture a member of Hugh Heffner's harem. I need to see for myself what she looks like."

"I don't think this is going to help anything. Mac, she's nothing compared to you. She's an attractive woman from what I remember, but you're stunningly gorgeous."

"Thank you and I believe you. I just need to see for myself."

He nodded. "Fine; I understand. I think I have her number on a notepad at work. I'll call Bud in the morning and see if he can find it for me so you can track down her address."

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that."

* * *

The next morning she woke up and found a slip of paper underneath her cell phone on the bedside table. She picked it up and took a deep breath as she read the name and address. He had also scribbled a small note underneath the pertinent information.

_Mac,_

_I wish you'd reconsider. I don't see how this is helpful at all. But, knowing you and how stubborn you are, I know you wont. So have a safe drive and I'll see you later this afternoon._

_H._

She sighed and shoved the piece of paper into her purse and went to take a quick shower. After her shower, she purposely took extra care picking out a pair of jeans that accentuated every part of her lower body and a top that did the same for the top half. She spent more time than normal fixing her hair and applying her makeup. She was human enough to acknowledge the fact that she wanted to look as good as humanly possible when she met the woman her husband had slept with. The rest of the household was gone when she got downstairs. The note on the counter said that they were going to take the boat out for a little while and they'd see her tonight when she got home. She tossed the note in the garbage, grabbed the keys to their rental car and headed out. The address was easy enough to find and before long, she was parked in a strange driveway, staring at a small house, trying to bring herself to get out of the car and knock on the door. Finally, she took a deep breath and made her way to the front door.

Summoning up all of her courage, she knocked on the front door and took a step back and waited for someone to answer. After a moment, someone finally did.

"Hi, can I help you?"

Mac looked her over and felt her courage returning. The woman was much younger than she was, but wasn't as beautiful as she had been picturing all this time. She was very petite, with shoulder length blonde hair and green eyes. Her skin was fair and she had a smattering of freckles across her nose. "Are you Lucy?" She bit the side of her cheek as the woman nodded. "I'm Sarah Rabb. Harm's wife."

Lucy's eyes went wide and she took a step back. "Oh."

She nodded and took a step forward. "May I come in?"

Lucy knew that the taller, bolder woman would not go away easily and this was not a discussion she wanted to have on her front steps. "Yes, of course." She stepped aside and let her pass through, before quietly shutting the door behind her. "I know why you're here; Mrs. Rabb and I'd like to say something."

"No." Mac said, cutting her off with a raise of her hand. "I am going to talk. I'm not one of those women who blame their husband's infidelity on the other woman. He's the one who is married to me and broke his wedding vows. But from what I've heard about that night not only did you know he was married, but you're married yourself."

"We were drunk; I didn't know what I was doing."

"No. Unacceptable." Mac took a step closer to her, knowing that she could be quite intimidating when she was angry. "You are a married woman, and you approached a man at a bar. You joined him for drinks, you brought him back to the home you share with your own husband and proceeded to break a couple of marriage vows, not to mention a few laws."

"Laws?"

Mac smirked and nodded. "Oh yes. I don't know if Harm told you this, but we're both lawyers. I've seen countless cases where the betrayed spouse sues the other person." She got some satisfaction watching the color drain from Lucy's face. "I'm going to say one thing to you and then I'll leave. You need to watch it. I've seen women like you before. Women who can't handle the military lifestyle and look outside of their marriage for ways to ease their loneliness. You may want to be careful next time you decide to approach a married man in a bar. The next wife might be more vindictive than I am. The next wife might be more interested in revenge than working things out with her husband. The next wife might decide to locate _your_ husband and let him know about your extracurricular activities." She turned around and turned the doorknob and pulled it opening. "Have a nice afternoon, Lucy." She walked out of the house, shutting the door firmly behind her and feeling better than she had in quite a while.

* * *

Trish pulled Mac to her and held her tightly for a moment before backing away. "Thank you so much, for everything." She waited for Mac to nod, and than glanced at her son. "I would have never gotten through this without the two of you."

"There is nowhere else we could have possibly been." Mac responded. They embraced again and parted when they heard the final call for their flight.

"See you at Thanksgiving?" Frank asked, hopefully.

Mac and Harm shared a glance and nodded. "We'll be here." Harm said. "You two take care of each other."

"And you do the same."

Frank put his arm around his wife's waist and watched as the younger couple made their way to the gate.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Trish asked.

Her husband nodded. "I think they'll be just fine."

* * *

Mac leaned back in the comfortable seat and buckled the seat belt. "I miss your parents already."

He nodded. "I know, I do too. I'm just so damned glad Frank's going to be okay." His eyes fell on her hand, tucked safely in her lap and reached for it. "And there are no words to tell you how glad I am that we're going to be okay."

She let him take her hand and she looked up at him. "It's not going to be easy, Harm. There is a lot that we need to work through."

"I know. And it's going to take time. But we're going to be okay."

Her eyes twinkled and she shook her head. "Don't tell me that you're psychic now, too?"

He laughed and shrugged. "I guess we'll find out. How many accurate predictions do I need to make to proclaim myself psychic?"

She mentally thought back over the times her special ability had proved helpful and shot him a smile. "At least three."

"Ok," He smiled at her and leaned back in his own chair. She hadn't said two words about her visit with Lucy and he was more than a little curious. "Mac, I'm dying here. What happened with Lucy?"

"I saw her. I told her what I thought of her. And I left." She smiled and remembered the pale, scared woman she had left behind. "I didn't hurt her, or threaten her. I just simply told her she might want to watch out. The next betrayed wife she has to deal with might be more interested in revenge than fixing her marriage."

"You never have been a vindictive person." Harm said.

"Part of me wanted to be." She said softly. "Part of me looked at her and saw this woman who I loathe even though I had never met her. I wanted to tell her I was going to find her husband and tell him. Part of me wanted to ruin her life." She looked at him, her eyes wide and moist. "But the bigger part of me knows I have to let some things go if we're going to be able to move forward."

"I love you." He said.

She nodded. "I know you do."

**_End Part 12_**.

whew This is the longest part yet! The part with Lucy & Mac was why this took so long to get out. I was almost done and I was reading over it and was like, "oh crap! I wanted Lucy and Mac to interact!" So I had to do a little rewrite. Hope it was worth the wait. Review please :)


	13. Thirteen

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13/Maybe an "R" for this part, for bad language.

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Thanks so much for the reviews! I love reading what you guys think. I know it's been a while since my last update, but… well. Let's just say that anyone who says the last year of college is easy is lying. Anyways. I know it may take me longer to update than you guys like, but once again, I promise I will not abandon this story. Thank you for being so patient!

_**Part Thirteen**_

"So tell me all about your trip." Dr. Cotswold asked as her two patients settled on her sofa.

Harm sighed and leaned back against the couch. "Well, my mother called me and told me that my stepfather had suffered a serious heart attack and she needed me." He glanced at Mac briefly before turning his attention back to their therapist. "Mac and Frank, my stepfather, are close. So I called her and she offered to come with me."

"And is he going to be okay?"

"Yes, he'll be fine. It was close, but as long as he follows the orders the doctors gave him and my mother, they're confident that he'll make a complete recovery."

"Good. I'm sure that is a huge relief to all of you. So what impact did this trip have on your relationship?"

Mac looked up from her folded hands and smiled. "A positive one."

Dr. Cotswold smirked and waved her on. "Care to elaborate?"

"I decided that I want our marriage to survive this no matter what. Seeing what Trish, Harm's mom, was going through was difficult for me. She could have potentially lost her husband for good and had no say in the matter. I realized that we do have a say in the matter, and I just don't want to give up on what we have without a fight."

Saying she was pleased with their progress was an understatement. She wasn't at all surprised that Mac had come to this decision. The woman sitting before her was a fighter, and she figured that once some of the rawness of the pain had worn off a bit she would be adamant not to let the situation beat her. "I'm glad to hear that. I know you were busy in California, but did the two of you get a chance to go out socially like I asked you two during our last session?"

"No," Harm said. "We had plans the night we had to leave for California, but that obviously didn't work out."

Sharon nodded. "I understand that. I know things changed while the two of you were away, but that's still something I'd like for you to do. I'm interested in how the two of you will cope socially."

"We'll make plans before our next appointment."

She beamed at Mac. "Good, I'm glad to hear it. Did anything else happen while you were away that you want to talk about today?" She watched the two of them exchange a curious glance and noticed Mac biting on her lower lip. "Now, Mac, I'm pretty good at reading body language, and it looks to me like you have something to say."

Mac sighed softly. "Once we learned Frank was going to be fine, it just kind of hit me how close we were to Miramar. Miramar is where Harm was stationed when he had his…" she paused, unsure how to phrase it. She remembered the argument they had during their first session about whether or not to call it an affair. "Where Harm was unfaithful. Once I realized that, I had this overwhelming urge to see her."

Sharon's eyebrows nearly entered her hairline. "And did you?"

"Yes." She glanced at Harm again, and sighed. "He didn't want me to, but I couldn't help it. I keep picturing him with another woman, and my brain was making her into something I'm sure she wasn't. So I had to see her for myself. I needed to see her for myself."

"What were you picturing her as?"

"Someone who looked like his ex-girlfriend, Renee. Or someone who looked like a Playboy model."

"Mac, I want you to finish this, but this is something we need to work on, maybe next session. We've started dealing with Harm's issues, particularly his jealousy. We need to talk about your insecurity. And I know telling you this is pointless because you're a woman who has had her heart broken, but you have about as much reason to be insecure as Harm does to be jealous." Sharon bit the inside of her mouth to keep from smiling at the glare she was receiving from her patients.

"May I continue?" Mac said, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Please."

"So, I needed to see her. So Harm gave me her address and I stopped by her home." She began to play with her fingers and continued with her story. "She was nothing like what I was picturing. Cute, but not stunning. And I'm not ashamed to say that I took pleasure in intimidating her."

"You're an intimidating woman." Sharon and Harm said at the same time. They shared a wry smile and focused on Mac.

"She tried telling me the things that people always say. She was drunk, she was lonely, and she didn't know what she was doing. I simply told her that her excuses were unacceptable and her behavior was unacceptable. I also may have let it slip that her and Harm had broken the law, and the wife of the next married man she sleeps with may be more fixated on revenge than fixing her marriage."

"So basically, you terrified her."

Mac shrugged. "She's a married woman, who went up to a married man, in a bar. She proceeded to get drunk with him, take him back to the home she shared with her husband, and throw two sets of marriage vows out the window. She deserves to be a little scared. Maybe next time she sees a gorgeous man in a bar she'll think twice."

"You think she's done this before?"

"Yeah, I do." She said softly. "Like I told her, some women are not cut out to be military wives. They can't handle the loneliness. I believe she's one of those kind of women."

Sharon nodded and silence surrounded the three of them. She closed her notebook and sat it on the desk. "I think we've done enough for today. Our hour is almost up and I don't want to start anything we can't finish."

The three of them stood and made their way to the door. "We'll see you next week." Harm said.

She nodded and gave Mac what she hoped was a reassuring smile before shutting the door behind them.

* * *

"Want to go grab some dinner?"

Mac glanced up at him and shook her head. "Not tonight. I've got plans."

"Oh?" He wanted to smack himself for allowing the jealous word to escape his lips.

"I'm meeting Angela and maybe Brennan for dinner." She knotted her scarf loosely around her throat and put her hands in her pockets. "Then I'm probably going to be up all night getting caught up before I go back to work tomorrow."

He groaned and ran his hand through his hair. "My desk is going to be a nightmare."

She smiled softly and nodded. "Probably."

They stood there for a moment in awkward silence, before Harm finally said something. "This is crazy. I feel like it's the end of my first date, and I don't know whether or not I'm allowed to kiss you goodbye."

Her tone was soft and her cheeks were flushed a pretty pink. "You're allowed."

That was all he needed to hear. He reached up and cupped her face and pressed the lightest of kisses to her lips. He remembered the kiss they shared on the beach made her uncomfortable and that was the last thing he wanted to do. His lips brushed hers and pulled back before he could be tempted to make it more intense. "Have a good time, Mac."

"I will." She opened the car door and paused before getting in. "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

The restaurant was crowded, but Mac spotted her friends instantly. Not only was Angela and Brennan there, but Cam had joined them as well.

"Hey, sorry I'm late."

"You're fine." Angela said with a wave of her hand. "I already ordered you your usual, though."

"Great, thanks." She took a sip of her water and took off her coat and scarf. "Have you all ordered food yet?" They shook their heads and she sighed in relief. "Thank goodness, I am starving."

Angela laughed and shook her head. "When are you not?"

The waitress saw that the last member of their party had arrived, so she approached them to take their orders. The others went first, giving Mac time to browse the menu. Once their orders were taken and the waitress had disappeared, Mac noticed they were all studying her. "What?"

"We heard about you and Harm." Cam said. "I'm so sorry."

Mac nodded and gave her a tight smile. "Thank you."

"How are you doing?" Angela asked.

She sighed. "I'm doing fine. It's been difficult, but things are getting better. We're seeing a marriage counselor and trying to work through everything."

"You mean you're giving him a second chance?"

Mac eyed Cam. "Yes, I am."

"Wow. I don't think I could do it. There would always be something in the back of my mind telling me he would do it again."

"Well, we're seeing a marriage counselor and it's helping a lot. I may have too much faith in Harm, but I don't think it'll happen again."

"But it could," Cam argued. "You're both in the military, there will be times when you'll be separated, it could happen. My mother always used to say 'Once a cheater, always a cheater'."

"It could, but I have to trust that it won't."

Brennan sipped her martini and then looked at Cam. "I'm surprised more people don't have affairs."

Angela closed her eyes and dropped her forehead to the palm of her hand. "Oh God."

"Excuse me?" Mac said, looking at her incredulously.

"Well, anthropologically it's not normal for one person to mate with just one other person. It's illogical to think that one person can meet and satisfy every need that another person has."

Mac's mouth was hanging open and her cheeks were flushed. Angela took note of both of her friends and held up a hand. "Bren, stop. Please." She waved her hand. "Wedding rings. Hello. This isn't a part of anthropology that we really enjoy hearing."

"Just because you don't enjoy hearing it doesn't make it any less accurate." Brennan had no clue why they were getting upset. She was merely stating the facts.

Mac finished her water and stood up. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and handed Angela a twenty dollar bill. "I'm really not in the mood to be social tonight, apparently. I'm going to head home. You guys have a good evening."

Angela smiled sadly and nodded, before turning towards Brennan.

"What did I say?"

She drove around aimlessly for about half an hour, letting Brennan's words and Cam's attitude flood her mind. Was she stupid for agreeing to work things out with Harm? Was she being incredibly naïve? Would he hurt her again? She shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts and noticed a street sign. Harriet and Bud lived nearby, and hopefully they wouldn't mind an intrusion. If anyone could restore her faith in marriage vows, it would be the two of them.

Once she was at their home, they welcomed her enthusiastically, asked about the trip, and Bud discretely disappeared so that his wife and mentor could talk in private.

"So what's on your mind?" Harriet asked.

Mac leaned back and sighed. "I was out to dinner with some friends. And one of them thought it was crazy I'm trying to make my marriage work, and another was telling me how anthropologically monogamy isn't logical. And I started thinking, maybe Harm and I working out is stupid. Maybe he will cheat on me again next time he's stationed somewhere else. I'm having doubts that I haven't had yet and I'm a little freaked out."

"And you want me to tell you that he will not?"

"Would you mind?"

Harriet smiled and placed her hand on her friend's back. "I can't tell you that he won't. I can tell you that I don't think he will, but I never thought this would happen to begin with."

"You're not helping."

She laughed, "Let me finish. I don't think he will. I know Harm better than your other friends probably do. And I know this has to be killing him that he's hurt you this way. He's an officer and a gentleman. Truth and honor are words he lives by. I believe that you will come to terms with your issues and put your marriage back on track."

"You really believe that?

Harriet nodded. "I really do."

End Part 13

I know it's been ages, but hopefully things will be better. School is now somewhat under control and hopefully no one else in my life plans on dying anytime soon. I'd love to know what you think!


	14. Fourteen

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: PG-13

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know. It's been over 3 months since my last update. Other than the stress of the holidays and graduation, I don't really have any reason for this taking so long. I've just been kind of drifting away from the JAG fandom lately, but then I watched some of my JAG season 7 DVDs the other day and I feel like I'm back on track. So here this is, and I am sorry this has taken so long.

**Part Fourteen**

Harm tapped gently on the door to Mac's office and poked his head in. "Can we talk?"

She met his eyes and then directed her attention back to the paper in front of her. "I'm busy, Harm. Can we talk later?"

He shook his head. "No, we can't." He made his way into her office and set himself in the chair in front of her. "You've been distant all day. Last night after therapy you seemed fine. You even let me kiss you. So what has changed in the past twelve hours or so?"

"Nothing has changed, Harm. I'm just busy."

He leaned over and covered her moving hand with his. "Mac, we've got to talk about things. We're putting our marriage back together, and we can't do that if we can't talk about stuff. Please tell me what's wrong."

Mac sighed softly and looked up. "Last night when I met Angela for dinner, Brennan and Cam were with her. They apologized about the current state of our marriage and I told them we were trying to work through things. Neither of them was optimistic about our situation."

"What did they say?"

"Cam has the whole 'once a cheater, always a cheater' mentality. Brennan on the other hand went on and on about the impracticality of monogamy."

"Monogamy is not impractical." Harm argued. "Most couples have no problem with monogamy. It's not some abstract theory that only a select few can understand."

Anger flared in her eyes and her body tensed up. "Harm, please don't lecture me on monogamy."

He blushed and stroked his thumb across the top of her hand. "Mac, what I did was the worst mistake of my life. It is something I will regret for the rest of my life and something I will never, ever do again."

"You said you'd never do it in the first place." She rubbed her hand over her face and sighed. "After I left the restaurant I stopped by Harriet's and talked to her for a little while. It helped some. Harm, I still want to work on things, but I need to be more realistic. It's not going to be as easy as either of us would like to move forward. I have to learn to trust you again."

"I know. Everything that happened in California made things seem better, but here everything is back to normal and things really haven't changed."

She nodded and leaned back in her chair. "I just need to take things slower, Harm."

He stood and let go of her hand. "Sarah, I'll take things as slow as you want. You mean more to me than anything else in the world, and I'll do whatever I need to do." He started for the door and turned. "You know, we never did follow Dr. Cotwold's instructions about going out. Socially."

"I know."

"We need to do that."

She smiled slightly. "Yes we do. How about tonight?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll pick you up at 7:00. Dress casual, okay?"

"Ok. Bye Harm."

* * *

Mac rolled her eyes at her reflection and pulled off her top. Nothing was right. Never mind the fact that she was just having dinner with her husband, who had seen her in every single outfit she owned. She walked back into the closet and rifled through the racks of expensive tops until she finally came across a simple cream colored cashmere sweater. "Well, Harm did say casual…" She pulled the top on and ran her fingers through her short, dark locks. She stepped back into the bedroom and gave herself an appraising look. The dark, trouser style jeans made her look slim and the pants were short enough that she could wear her favorite leopard print Tory Burch flats without the jeans dragging the floor. She was touching up her lip gloss when the doorbell rang. She grabbed her bag and hurried into the living room.

Harm shoved his hands in his pockets and waited for her to open the door. He didn't have to wait long and he flashed her his brilliant smile.

She smiled back and opened the door wider. "Hey, you're on time."

"Hey, I've gotten a lot more punctual since I've been with you."

"I have to admit you have. I'm still not used to it though. Come on in."

He followed her into their apartment and glanced around. He had been here since he had moved into a hotel, but he still checked every time to see if anything had changed; to see if she had removed any of the traces of their life together. He was relieved to note that everything was the same. Pictures of the two of them still took up almost every empty surface. Knick knacks from their travels were displayed throughout the common rooms. The kitchen looked untouched, which made him smile. His wife wasn't much of a cook and the state of the art kitchen was always his domain.

"What are you looking at?" Mac asked.

"I was just noticing that the kitchen looks like it hasn't been used." She rolled her eyes and pulled on her coat. "What have you been eating?"

"Take out. Me and the guy at the pizza place have gotten pretty close over the past several weeks."

"Mac, you have to eat more than pizza."

"I'm kidding Harm. I've had more than pizza. I haven't been eating as healthy since you moved out, but I'm not living on pizza and Chinese take out."

"Maybe I should take you somewhere healthier tonight than I had planned."

She raised her eyebrows. "And where exactly did you have planned?"

"The Counter, that gourmet burger place in Tyson's Corner." He laughed as she picked up her purse, grabbed his hand and began dragging him to the door. "I guess we're going there after all." He said with a smirk.

* * *

They settled in at the restaurant and ordered their food. Harm's eyes bulged as Mac ordered the second biggest burger on the menu and loaded it up with toppings and an order of cheese fries. "Mac, have you ever been here before?"

She shook her head. "No, I've heard about it, but with everything going on I haven't gotten out here that much."

"That burger is massive."

"Harm, you know what I can eat."

He grinned. "Well, don't say I didn't warn you." They talked for a few minutes about work and how he was getting along with Tillman.

"He's a lot more tolerable now that he knows you're off limits." He saw her narrow her eyes. "I'm sorry that my behavior with him embarrassed you in front of Morris, but you're my wife, Mac. And even though I have royally screwed our marriage up, I can't stand around twiddling my thumbs while knowing that another man is interested in you."

"He may be interested in me, but I am in no way interested in him. You've been 'it' for me for a very long time." He casually placed his hand over hers and rubbed his thumb over her smooth skin.

She glanced up at him, her eyes darker than normal. Ever since she had met him, the slightest touch sent shivers through her body. A large part of her was relieved she still got that feeling from such an innocent touch.

The conversation was put on hold when their server stopped back by with their dinner. Harm smiled as her face lit up at the sight of the food in front of her. The burger was one of the largest she had ever seen and looked absolutely delicious. Crumbles of feta cheese lay on the plate, where they had fallen off and she picked up a crumble and popped it her mouth. "I love this stuff."

"I know." He grinned and swiped one of her fries. "I remember when we were in Greece you ate feta on _everything_."

"Well, we were in Greece…" She watched him cut into his smaller burger and rolled her eyes. "You eat like a girl," she joked. She lifted the massive burger, covered in feta cheese, black olives, roasted red peppers and tomatoes to her mouth and took the biggest bite she could.

"Well one of us has to." He smirked and took another bite. Conversation died down a bit as they ate, but the silence wasn't tense or oppressive. Once a dent had been made in the food, Harm took a sip of his water and glanced at his wife. She seemed much more optimistic than she had earlier that day at work. "So what's changed since we talked earlier today?"

She looked up at him and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You're much less guarded than you were this afternoon. What changed?"

Mac shrugged and popped another fry in her mouth. "Nothing really. I did talk to Angela, though. She told me some things about Brennan and Cam. They're pretty much two of the last people I should take relationship advice from. Besides, I want us to work. And if I'm as committed to that as I say I am, I've got to try. I know some people are going to think I'm an idiot for not divorcing you right away, but I've got to stop worrying so much about what other people think of me. It's my life, and I'm going to live it however I want."

The conversation tapered off again, and Harm leaned back in his chair and studied her. She was different than the woman he had met so long ago. She was much more trusting and open, but she was also less feisty. Much more subdued. The woman who pulled him into a helicopter over Arizona had favored brightly colored sundresses to cashmere sweaters. For the most part the change had been gradual. But their marital problems over the past few months had seemingly put out a little more of the fire she used to have within her. And to him, that was the part of this whole fiasco he hated the most.

* * *

After dinner Harm drove her back to the apartment and walked her up. Stopping at the door, Mac put the key in the lock and turned back to him.

"Thanks for dinner, Harm."

He smiled slightly. "You're welcome." For the first time that evening, the silence was awkward and he sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. "This is insane. We're not coming back from a blind date with total strangers. We're married. We've been best friends for over seven years. This shouldn't be so uncomfortable."

She shrugged. "How is it supposed to be? I mean, do you just come inside and make yourself at home like nothing happened? Do we kiss goodnight and say goodnight here, even though a kiss would make both of us want more? Or do you tell me goodnight and just give me an awkward hug? Maybe a handshake and a pat on the shoulder? I'm not an expert at this. I don't really know what to do."

"I don't know what we should do either. But I know what I want to do." He removed his hands from his pockets and placed one on her side and cupped her face with the other. He pulled her to him and captured her lips with a kiss. The kiss was unlike any other they had shared since he had slept with Lucy. He wanted to inject some of the fire back into her and attempted to do so with his kiss. His tongue brushed against her lower lip, and her mouth willingly opened to his. A moan escaped him and he moved them so that her back was against the door of the apartment. He trailed kisses from her lips over her jaw to the base of her throat.

Her eyes closed and she tilted her head back, reveling at the feelings Harm was creating within her. It had been so long since she had been this aroused and she was able to momentarily quiet the voice in her head and enjoy the feeling.

"I want you so badly, Sarah." His lips met hers again and when he went to deepen the kiss, he felt himself being forcefully pushed away.

"No. We can't do this." She took a deep breath and opened the apartment door. She looked back at him, her eyes dark with passion and wet with unshed tears. "I can't do this." She closed the door behind it and sank to the floor, trying to regain some semblance of control.

* * *

Lucky for Mac, the next day was a weekend and she didn't have to worry about seeing Harm at JAG and having to discuss what had happened the previous night. Or more importantly, talk about what she had wanted to happen. And what she knew would happen again someday. Ever since they had made the commitment to make their marriage work, they had shared a few kisses, but nothing with the intensity or passion of last night. She had been so close to inviting him in and sharing her bed with him, but fear got in the way. Knowing she was scared, and yet not knowing what she was actually scared of was an incredibly frustrating feeling.

All day long she kept herself busy, trying to think of anything other than Harm. By the middle of the day the apartment was spotless, her laundry had been finished and she had just finished typing a long email to Chloe.

"I need to get out of here." She said aloud to herself. Quickly, she changed into running shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt, grabbed her keys and her i-Pod and headed to the park.

By the fourth mile, the cool air and the physicality of running had started to clear her mind. Thought of her and Harm were no longer filling her head and for the first time since her dinner with Angela and the others she felt relaxed. By the end of the seventh mile, she felt it was time for a break and sat down on one of the park benches. Placing her hands on her knees, she bent over and took a few deep breaths. When she sat up again, there was a guy standing near her, with a smirk on his attractive face.

"I was wondering when you'd have to stop for a break. I've been behind you for the past four three miles and I was beginning to think you were superwoman."

Mac laughed and leaned back against the bench. "Close. I'm a Marine."

He nodded in appreciation and gestured to the empty spot next to her. "Do you mind?"

She shook her head. "Not at all." She looked away from him and smiled as she saw a young couple with a little girl playing a few yards away.

"So are you running away from something or to something?"

She glanced at him and offered him a slight smile. "Neither. Just needed to clear my head. What about you?"

"Training for a marathon. I'm doing the Disney Marathon with some friends in January. Twenty Six plus miles. I've only been running for a few months, so I'm not sure I'll be ready by then."

"You should be. Twenty six miles seems like a lot, but once you start running, the adrenaline pumps in and it's surprising how far you can make yourself go."

He smiled, pleased at her words. "I'm guessing you've done a marathon or two."

"I've done my fair share."

"Maybe you'd like to train with me? Running might be more fun if I had a beautiful Marine motivating me."

Her eyes widened and without words she pulled a necklace out from underneath her t-shirt. Clanking against her dog tags were her wedding rings. She unhooked the chain and slipped them back on. Noticing the look of surprise on his face, she smiled apologetically and explained. "Fingers can swell while running. I don't want to take the chance of having to have my rings cut off."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

She cut him off. "It's okay." She glanced at the diamonds and platinum and sighed softly. When she looked back up, she noticed he was glancing at her curiously. Not wanting to delve into her life with a stranger, she stood up and forced a smile. "Well, I'm going to be heading home. Good luck with your marathon."

He smiled and nodded. "Good luck clearing your head."

**End Part Fourteen**

As always, I'd love to know what you think!


	15. Fifteen

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: R

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: So it's only been a week since my last post! Aren't you guys proud? Also, just so you guys know, this is coming to an end. I figure there are two parts left, three tops. And I've started thinking about what's next, so look for my next story soon. It will be light and fluffy, I can say that. Anyways. Enjoy! And as always, feedback is much appreciated.

*****THIS PART HAS A HIGHER RATING DUE TO SEXUAL SITUATIONS. NOTHING EXPLICIT, BUT TAKE WARNING IF THAT TYPE OF THING OFFENDS YOU!*****

**Part Fifteen**

Mac pulled into the driveway of a lovely house in Alexandria and forced herself out of the car before she could talk herself out of what she was doing. She jogged up to the door and knocked twice before stepping back and bouncing on the balls of her feet. When she left the park, she never even made it back to her apartment. She went to her car instead and made her way here. After waiting a moment she raised her hand to knock again and the door suddenly opened.

"Mac! This is a surprise." Dr. Cotswold looked over the younger woman, who was currently shivering in her shorts and long sleeved top. "Would you like to come in?"

She nodded. "If it's okay." The therapist held the door open wider and welcomed her into her home.

"You'll have to excuse the mess. My son and his girlfriend are visiting from college this weekend, and well, he's not any neater now than he was as a child."

"Am I interrupting anything?"

"Not at all. They're having lunch with some friends from high school, and then going to a wedding. I was just about to have some tea. Care to join me?" Mac nodded and followed her into the kitchen. "Is everything okay?"

"Well. God, I don't even know."

"Sit." Dr. Cotswold pointed at the small table and gave Mac a gentle push. "Sit." She repeated. "And start talking."

She did as she was told and took a seat. "Harm and I went out last night. Like you told us to."

"How was it?"

"It started off kind of tense. Some friends of mine had voiced their opinions about our relationship and it had me feeling a little uneasy all day. So we went into our date with that hanging over our heads. But we started talking and things were fine. No tension or awkwardness at all."

"Well, that sounds like a good thing to me." She sat a tray with two cups of tea, sugar and milk in the center of the table and took her seat. "What happened next?"

"He took me home and walked me to the door. We were standing by the door talking about how awkward it was when he kissed me."

Dr. Cotswold frowned and put down her tea. "I thought you two had kissed since this had happened. Why would this kiss get you all out of sorts?"

Mac blushed and stared at the pale blue tea cup. "This kiss was more… intense than the others had been."

"Ah."

"Yeah. The kiss was intense and he backed me up against the door of the apartment and told me how badly he wanted me. I wanted him just as much, but hearing him say that, it just… I don't know. I pushed him away and told him that we couldn't do that. That I couldn't do that."

"Why do you think that is?"

Mac looked at the doctor as if she were a little insane. "Well, obviously I'm more than a little scared about being intimate with him again." She returned her attention to the cup and was quiet for a minute. "I guess I feel as if the lack of physical intimacy is only barrier I still have. I've told him I still love him, I've told him I want our marriage to work."

"If that is really what you want, than you have to open yourself back up to him. If you're going to give him that second chance, than you have to actually do it." She took a sip of her tea and studied Mac. "So do you think he'll ever do this again?"

She shook her head. "No. I know that may not mean much, since I never thought he'd do it in the first place, but I don't believe it'll ever happen again."

"Do you think that once the two of you have regained your intimacy that he'll compare you with her?"

"No. I- I'm just trying to protect myself. And that's the last of my protective measures."

"Well, stop it." She saw Mac raise and eyebrow and she smiled. "I'm serious, Mac."

"Well, what do you suggest I do? Go over to his hotel room in lingerie and ask him to take me then and there?"

Dr. Cotswold took a sip of her tea and then delicately placed the cup back on the saucer. "Yes. That's exactly what I would do. It's been two months since this happened. It's time for your actions to match up with your words. If you want your marriage back, go out there and take your marriage back."

* * *

For the second time that day, she had to get out of her car quickly before her nerves could overwhelm her. She walked through the doors of the hotel that Harm had called home for the past few months and boarded and elevator to head to his room. She knocked on the door and once again bounced on the balls of her feet while waiting for him to answer. When he did, he was taken aback to find her there.

"Mac. Is everything okay?"

She nodded and gestured to the inside of the room. Wordlessly he opened the door wider and allowed her inside.

"You have to be freezing." He said softly. He picked up a hooded sweatshirt from the foot of the bed and offered it to her. She took it and sat down on the bench in front of the bed and draped the shirt over her legs. "What's going on?"

"I love you." She held up her hand to keep him from saying anything till she was finished. "I love you. I always have and I always will. And I want to be with you. Last night freaked me out. So today I went by Dr. Cotswold's house to talk to her about a few things. And I realized that turning away from being intimate with you was the last way I had to protect myself."

"You don't have to protect yourself around me. I'll never do anything to hurt you, ever again."

"I know that. I believe you." She stood up and laid the shirt to the side. She slowly moved closer to him. Once there was nearly no space left between them she threaded her fingers through his hair and brought his face down to meet hers. Their lips met and this time she took the initiative to deepen the kiss.

Slight moans escaped them both as the kiss intensified. He brought one hand to her cheek and dropped the other to the small of her back. He tugged her even closer, which she wouldn't have thought possible. After a bit, he pulled away from her and took in her lovely appearance. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen. Her eyes were darker than he had ever seen them and her chest was rising and falling heavily.

"So damned beautiful…" He muttered, before attaching his lips to her slender throat.

She closed her eyes, once again enjoying the feelings he was creating within her. Then she remembered she had been working out and her skin probably tasted like salt. "Harm, wait."

He pulled away like he had been burned and dropped his hands to his sides. "I'm sorry."

Mac shook her head. "I'm not. It's just… well, I've been working out for most of the day and I really need a shower."

"Oh! Ok." He blushed, almost embarrassed with the relief he felt. "Um, bathroom is right over there. Maid service was here not too long ago, so there should be plenty of clean towels." She nodded and headed for the bathroom.

"Harm," She said softly, "would you like to join me?" She extended her hand and beamed as he clutched it, and followed her into the bathroom.

Once inside she turned on the water and he shut the door behind them. She pulled the curtain closed till the water was warm and turned to face him. She started to pull off her shirt when his hands stopped hers. "Let me." He pulled the shirt up and over her head. He threw the garment to the side and then did the same with the pale pink sports bra she wore. Her gray shorts and underwear were soon added to the pile and she stood before him naked, slightly uncomfortable under his intense gaze. Not caring about the current saltiness of her skin, he placed a kiss to her bare shoulder.

"You're overdressed, Harm." She pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it aside, before moving her hands to the button on his jeans. She tugged them down his hips and he stepped out of them and closer to her.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured."

"I'm sure." Mac pulled the curtain back slightly and stepped under the warm water. She watched Harm as he joined her and moved further in to make room for him. Once he was inside he immediately reached for her and pulled her close to him. He leaned down to kiss her and then backed her to a wall of the shower." She pushed him away just enough for her to smile and say "what's up with you pushing me against walls?"

He shrugged and kissed her again. He moaned into her mouth as her hands dug into his hips. "I've missed you so much." He began placing soft kisses on her jaw and her neck, enjoying the way she tilted her head back and whimpered softly. "I love you so much, Sarah. So much." He gasped as her hand fisted around him she reached up to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Now, Harm. Please."

* * *

Well sated and happy, a while later they lay curled in his sheets. She was on her side with him spooned behind her, one arm wrapped protectively around her waist. He could tell by her breathing that she was asleep and he placed a kiss on her shoulder. He couldn't believe she was here. When she came to his hotel room he was torn between being terrified and hopeful, now he was happier than he'd been since before he left for California. This woman here with him was everything to him. He hated that he had hurt her; hated that his stupidity caused her one moment of pain.

"Stop thinking so much."

He smiled and released her so she could turn to face him. "Excuse me?" Her voice was thick with sleep and her hair was going in every way possible and he yet she was still ridiculously arousing.

"Your body gets so tense when you're over thinking things. So stop it."

"Mac, what changed?" He asked suddenly. "I mean, last night you were pretty adamant that this couldn't happen and then you showed up here today singing a different tune. What changed?"

She propped herself up, resting her chin on her hand. "Seeing Dr. Cotswold. She told me that if I really was serious about saving our marriage than my actions needed to match my words. And before that I was at the park running and this guy approached me. I didn't have my rings on and he pretty much asked me out. And that feeling made me physically ill. I don't want to be asked out by strangers. I want to be your wife."

He picked up her left hand and fiddled with her rings. "Why did you take them off?"

She smiled softly at him and placed a tender kiss on his lips. "I always take them off when I run. You know that. I don't want my fingers to swell and have to have them cut off. But sitting on that park bench next to a man I didn't know… I don't know. I pulled the rings off my necklace and didn't hesitate to put them back on."

"That's the only reason?"

Mac nodded. "Yes. Throughout this whole ordeal I've only taken them off when I was working out."

He listened to her and tried to stomp down the jealousy that was pooling within him. "Mac, I think we need to continue going to therapy."

"Of course we do. While this afternoon was wonderful, everything still isn't perfect."

"I had hoped that it would be. I hoped that being with you again would mean everything was okay. But the thought of another man hitting on you made me so jealous it's a little insane."

"It is slightly insane." She agreed. "I mean, here I am, naked in your bed and you're jealous that someone else asked me out. What was it that Dr. Cotswold said? You have jealousy issues and I have insecurity issues that we need to work through." He nodded and she smiled. "Good Lord, those two things will keep us in therapy for years."

He reached over and brushed a lock of hair off of her forehead. "So where do we go from here?"

She shrugged. "Well, I think it's time you stopped throwing away our retirement fund on this room-"

"Hey, Frank knows the owner, thank you very much."

"And come home with me." She finished, rolling her eyes at his comment.

"Really?"

"Yes. We can work through our problems just as well at home as we can with you living here." She lowered her arm and laid her head back on the pillow. "I'm going back to sleep now."

He curled up against her once more and pulled her close. "I love you."

"I love you too."

**End Part Fifteen**

As always, I'd love to know what you think!


	16. Epilogue

**Title**: Broken Promises

**Author**: Tsarina Smith

**Rating**: R

**Disclaimer**: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

**Spoilers**: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

**Summary**: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

**Authors Notes**: Well, this is it. This has been written for a while (I've always known how I want the story to end) and for the fast few days I've been alternating between re-reading this and trying to write another part before posting the epilogue. But I just couldn't. I thought the last part was the best time to end it, other than an epilogue to wrap things up. I want to end this while I still like it and move on to something else I have been wanting to write for a while. Something fluffy… Thanks everyone for your support and for the reviews, they have been very much appreciated.

**Epilogue**

Three Years Later…

Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb was all but running around her Falls Church home on a lovely Saturday morning. In a little less than three hours her home would be full of family and friends celebrating Lily Kate's first birthday.

It had taken a while once Harm had returned to their apartment for things to return to normal, but things were helped along when they once again began talking about starting a family. Children were something they both wanted desperately, and even with their marital difficulties that had not changed. They continued meeting with Dr. Cotswold for nearly six months, until they felt that their marriage was strong enough to no longer need an outside party to make things work.

Getting pregnant had taken longer than they had hoped; their ages had made conceiving more difficult than they had thought. Over a year after he returned home, they found out that Mac was pregnant. Once Lily Kate was born, their world was rocked once again. Only this time, not from the heartache of infidelity, but from the absolute joy their little girl brought them. Parenthood suited both of them extremely well. Mac had taken a brief leave from the judiciary to care for their daughter and then returned to work leaving Lily Kate with Harm's mother. Shortly after Lily Kate's birth there had been an unexpected tragedy. Frank's heart condition had worsened and he passed away only a couple of months after the birth of his granddaughter. Trish was understandably distraught. Harm and Mac had managed to convince her to move to DC to be closer to them. After a few weeks of working to convince her, she finally agreed. She refused to stay with them though, and bought a townhouse not far from their home. She took care of the baby while Mac and Harm worked, which saved them the agony of leaving their daughter with strangers.

Harm walked down the stairs of their comfortable home and smiled at his frantic wife. He looked at the little girl in his arms and smiled. He doubted Lily Kate would mind terribly if the pillows were fluffed or if the balloons were carnation pink instead of cotton candy pink, but his wife was determined that everything be perfect. "Hey gorgeous."

She looked up and beamed at her family. "Hey." She held her arms out for her daughter and smiled once she was tucked against her. She knew she was biased, but her child was absolutely gorgeous. Harm had dressed her in a pale yellow dress, trimmed with lace. She obviously had dark hair, courtesy of one or both of her parents and her mother's dark eyes and skin. "I didn't hear her wake up."

Harm stroked Lily Kate's cheek and leaned into kiss Mac. "I woke her up. I wanted to go ahead and get her ready in case anyone, namely my mom, decide to stop by early."

"Good plan. I'm sure Trish will be here as soon as she's awake." She made a face at her daughter and then laughed as Lily Kate cupped her face in her chubby little hands.

* * *

The guests had arrived and the party was in full swing. The Robert's children were running around amusing all the adult guests, while the birthday girl was sitting on a blanket in the grass with Jack and Angela Hodgins' twins. Their children were several months older than Lily Kate and they played together often. Mac kept a watchful eye on the children while engaging in conversation with her friends. She was being entertained by a story the Admiral was telling and heard her husband's laughter from a few yards away. Three years ago, when Harm told her about his one night stand, she had feared she would never have this. She's known for years that he was it for her, and that one night had almost cost her all this. She glanced at her daughter and couldn't imagine having anyone's child but his. Building a home with anyone but him. No matter what mistakes either of them made, they had a something special that so few people ever have.

AJ grinned at his former chief of staff when he noticed her attention was no longer on his story. He nudged her gently and smiled. "Did I ever tell you how glad I am that the two of you were able to work things out?"

She nodded. "Yes sir, you have." She looked back at him. "I was just thinking about how I might have never had all of this after everything that happened."

"You have it though. You were able to work things out. And I admire the hell out of you for that."

"Why is that, sir?"

"Most couples go through something that intense and can't manage to make their way through it. You two did. I admire you for not just giving up on your marriage."

She smiled and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Thank you sir."

* * *

As typical for a party for young children, the adults enjoyed themselves just as much as the children did. It was late when their guests packed up their sleepy children and headed home. There small family headed back inside. Mac took Lily Kate up to bed while Harm surveyed the living room and then the kitchen. He put away the leftover food and put some of the dishes in the dishwasher. The rest of the mess could wait till morning. He turned off the lights and headed upstairs. Mac had already put the baby down, so he crept into her room. He brushed his hand across her soft cheek and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He watched his daughter sleep for a moment and then headed to their bedroom.

He smiled at the image of his wife getting ready for bed. She had already changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and was in the process of taking off her make-up. "I still don't understand why you bother putting that stuff on."

"Because I couldn't take it if my husband was prettier than I am."

He rolled his eyes and then smiled. This was a familiar part of their nightly routine and he loved it. He shut the bedroom door and started changing clothes himself. He threw his clothes into the laundry basket and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms. He climbed in bed and nestled under the covers and waited for his wife to join him. He didn't have to wait long. He was barely under the covers and comfortable when she turned off the bathroom light and got on the bed. She crawled towards him and placed a heated kiss on his lips.

"Hi." She said with a smile.

His hands went to her hips. "Hey."

"So, I was thinking…"

He raised his eyebrows. "Always dangerous. Ugh." One of his hands went to his side where she elbowed him. "What are you thinking about?"

"Having another baby."

He knew surprise was evident on his face from her reaction. She started to pull back from him, but he tightened his grasp on her. "I want more children. You know I do. At least one more, anyways. I just didn't know you wanted another one so soon."

Mac shrugged. "I want our kids to be close in age. I want them to be friends as well as siblings."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. Okay. Let's have another baby."

Her face lit up and she leaned back in for another kiss. "Want to get started now?"

"Absolutely." He flipped them over and hovered for a moment.

"You're looking at me weird."

"Sometimes I just don't understand how I got quite so lucky."

Her cheeks colored and her eyes sparkled as she pushed herself up so she could kiss him again. "I think we're both pretty damned lucky." She grabbed the front of his t-shirt and pulled him down on top of her. "Let's make a baby, flyboy."

"Yes ma'am."

**And it's done!**

:) Wow. That was hard. And angsty. And I really like the way this turned out, but I'm glad it's over with. I hope you enjoyed it, I hope you'll all leave LOADS of feedback and I hope you'll enjoy my next story. The first part should be out in a few days.


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